Bonding
by Jocose
Summary: After the mayhem caused by Captain John,and his long absence,Jack decides the team need a bonding session, and arranges a weekend of paint balling.Set between episodes one and two of series two
1. Chapter 1

Jack stood at the doorway to his office, hands in pockets, listening to the life of the hub as it buzzed around him, he smiled to himself, it felt good to be home!

We wandered idly forward, glancing down into the empty autopsy room, stopping beside Toshiko- who looked up at him enquiringly, they smiled at each other, then she turned her attention back to her work.

Jack glanced up at the walkway, he watched Owen as he fussed over one of his plants, then paused to check the time on his watch. A smile tweaked at Jack's lips, so much for the man who avoided grass like the plague!

Turning back towards his office, wondering vaguely where Ianto was, he glanced towards the coffee machine, but there was no sign of him.

Looking up towards the walkway again, in case Ianto was there, he took a more leisurely look at Owen's new domain. It added a splash of greenery, to the tiled coldness surrounding it. Then he stared- Owen was checking his watch yet again! Jack shrugged, he never used to be a clock watcher-seemed times had changed!

Wandering back into his office, he stood by the window, watching for Ianto to put in an appearance. Owen wandered past on his way across the hub, and once again, he was checking his watch, Jack shook his head baffled.

Owen eventually appeared at the office door. Taking a step inside, he stopped, then glanced around, clearly looking for him.

Jack stepped away from the window, then smiled at Owen, "Well, well, if it isn't Torchwood's own, budding, Percy Thrower!" he joked.

Owen gave him a baffled look, "Percy who?" he asked, vaguely.

"Thrower," finished Jack, "Probably a bit before your time," he added, as he walked towards him.

"More than likely," Owen responded, clearly not remotely interested in what he was talking about.

"You looking for me?" Jack queried, stopping in front of him.

"Yeah. I've left everything on automatic up there, so should be alright, and I'll see you all Monday morning," he gave a brief smile, then turned away.

Jack looked baffled, "Whoa, Owen, what do you mean Monday? This is Friday and it's not even mid day."

Owen turned back, "Is this your way of telling me, you don't know?" he said, warily.

Jack frowned back, "Could well be, and this could _also_ be my way of telling you, that you need to listen, to what I'm about to say next."

Marching out of his office, he took half a dozen paces, then stopped and cleared his throat, "Okay people, can I have your attention? I have an announcement to make."

"Ooh goody," murmured Owen, under his breath, while checking his watch for the umpteenth time.

Jack glanced around, waiting as everyone settled themselves ready to listen to him. "And before you ask, Owen, this _does_ include you," he said, giving him a warning look, then turning back to the others.

"I have decided, that what we all need is a little down time," he paused, then added, "And I think, I have the perfect solution."

"Oh bloody hell, not one of those flaming bonding sessions?" Owen grumbled, tapping his watch, then holding it up to his ear, to see if it was still working.

Jack took a deep breath, great! Just what he needed, another battle with Owen! Spinning on his heels, and ready to assert his authority, he found himself wrong footed by Owen, who passed him rapidly heading for the door.

Grabbing his coat from the hook, Owen announced, "Have a nice time, see you on Monday," and was down the steps, and halfway to the door, before Jack could object.

"Where the hell do you think your going?" Jack yelled after him, moving to the top of the stairs, in an effort to gain some kind of psychological advantage, by looking down on him.

Owen turned back, a bored expression on his face, "I am going off on a nice, long, weekend. It's been arranged for months, and there is no way I'm cancelling- definitely **not,** for some group hugging session down the pub."

Jack smiled briefly back at him, "This is not some..." he paused, "Group hugging session, down the pub, as you so succinctly put it Owen, we," he paused for effect, "Are going paint balling."

He turned slightly, waiting for appreciative noises, only to be greeted by several blank faces, and Toshiko with the strained expression plastered across her face, that she only got when she was trying to think of something to say that wasn't rude.

Owen blinked rapidly back at him, paused as he checked he wasn't imagining what Jack had just said, then clearly deciding he hadn't misheard him, said, "Paint balling?"

Jack nodded cheerfully back at him, "Yep, paint balling."

Owen opened his mouth, and slowly moved his head up and down,"R-ight! sooo, you want **me** to spend the weekend, in a darkened room, chasing you around with a load of paint," before Jack had a chance to correct him, Owen continued, "In case you hadn't noticed, I spend my life shooting people, with **real** guns- that have proper grown up bullets in them... but you think, that it would be somehow _therapeutic, _for me to attack my co- workers with paint."

Owen's eyes narrowed and his stance shifted, "So let me just check I've got this right... this weekend I have a choice of running around in a darkened room, making B & Q shareholders happy. Or, spending my time in an _equally_ darkened room, with a beautiful, passionate and _extremely_ frustrated woman, who I haven't seen in a long time, and who can't get enough of me," he grimaced and shook his head, "Hard decision, but I think... I'll pass on the paint balls if it's all the same to you," he said, turning back towards the door.

"This is not an opt out situation Owen, we all go- including you," Jack yelled back at him, pulling himself up to his full height,"Is that clear?"

Owen spun back furiously, "I am now, officially, on holiday, standing down, you can't..."

Jack interrupted him, shouting him down, "I can, and I will. I own you, body and soul, Owen Harper, and when I say jump, all you need to ask, is how high!"

The mutinous look on Owen's face was enough to persuade Jack, a shift of tactics might be advisable.

"Look, Owen," he softened his voice, smiled down at him, hand outstretched, "The place is already booked, its beautiful, out in the wilds, ancient woodlands, it's a perfect setting for..."

"Woodlands!" Owen's voice went up an octave, "What, out in the back of beyond? We did that once before, remember? **Remember**?" He scanned the others, looking for any allies. "You all really want to go prancing about in the undergrowth, with a bloody paint gun?"

"I never prance," Jack said, giving Owen a frosty look.

Ianto raised his eyebrows, and started to say something. Jack glanced over at him and gave him a warning look, Ianto thought better of it and said nothing.

Gwen bit her lip, this wasn't going terribly well, and as usual, Owen was front running the rebellion. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, "Erm, you know it doesn't sound that bad an idea... really... does it?" She asked, looking hopefully round at the others.

Ianto blinked, his expression suggesting he was trying to remember if he'd left the gas on. Toshiko avoided eye contact with her, staring vacantly at one of the screen displays, lips pursed. Gwen blinked nervously at Jack's back.

"Where exactly is this place?" she asked, attempting to sound enthusiastic and failing badly.

Jack turned towards her, grinning, "Oh, it's really beautiful, rolling countryside, little country pub, " he raised his eyebrows enquiringly at her, moving his head slightly in Owen's direction. He needed to know if another explosion was imminent.

Gwen gave him a doleful look and winced. Jack closed his eyes and sighed, okay, only one thing for it, lose the battle but win the war.

"Tell you what I'll do, Owen," Jack said, suddenly making his mind up as he turned away from Gwen.

"You can join up with us tomorrow, we'll go down in the SUV and take all the equipment, and you can follow us later...how's that?"

Owen's face brightened somewhat, clearly feeling that he had won a victory of sorts, then nodded, "Yeah, I suppose," he conceded.

Jack relaxed, relieved that he'd backed down, unfortunately his relief was short lived.

Owen's eyes suddenly narrowed, "What equipment?" he enquired, warily.

Jack's attempts not to look evasive, made Owen even more suspicious. "You said a pub, presume that's where we're staying?" he asked, eyes fixed on Jack's face. Jack licked his lips nervously and coughed quietly, but before he could say anything, Owen was already on the attack.

"Wouldn't happen to include..." he hesitated, as if what he was thinking was too unspeakable for words, then spat out, "Tents," his eyes narrowed, "Would it?"

Jack only got as far as, "Erm," before Owen was in full flow, yet again.

"Bleedin' hell... "he exploded, pacing back and forth rapidly, "Not only have I got to trek to the soddin' outback, armed only with something a two year old would find laughable, but I'm going to have to piss with the bloody bears!"

Toshiko made a spluttering noise, and suddenly ducked under the desk to check something. Gwen held her breath and tried counting backwards, when that didn't work, she bit her lip as hard as she could and hoped fervently that Jack wouldn't require her to provide him with any vocal support!

Ianto contemplated the ceiling, then blinked thoughtfully,"Well I don't think were in the area for bears, the odd cannibal maybe, although the last lot were further north than we're going. They were talking about reintroducing wild boar, mind you..." he trailed off suddenly when he realised everyone was now looking at him, his expression reverting back to its normally neutral blank.

Indeed the only one not, taking any notice of Ianto, was Owen, he suddenly smiled brightly at Jack, seemingly conceding defeat gracefully, "Yeah, well, as long as I get tonight..." he said, turning quickly towards the door.

Jack stared at his retreating back, that wasn't like Owen to give in so suddenly! "Hold on," he yelled after him, "You don't know where we're going yet."

"No problem," he responded waving over his shoulder in Tosh's general direction,"Upload it to my sat nav will you Tosh?"

Jack looked quickly at her, for confirmation that she wouldn't have a problem. She smiled and nodded, "Okay, see you tomorrow."

Owen was already in the lift and heading up towards the daylight.

Jack shrugged, "Right, well, might as well get everything sorted out," he went towards his office, then stopped and turned back again, "Tosh, can you sort out Owen's sat nav now?" He asked, clearly expecting a glitch.

Tosh looked surprised, "Yeah okay, no problem," she began tapping the keyboard, seconds later she sighed and then looked puzzled.

Jack stood beside her looking at the screen, "Problem?" he enquired, his voice suggesting that was exactly what he was expecting.

Toshiko shook her head, "Idiot, he's unplugged it again- he says it drains his battery," she grumbled. " I can't send anything until he powers it up," she looked apologetically at Jack, "Sorry."

"Oh yes, he will be- very!" Jack growled, "Get him on his mobile, and remind him... repeatedly," he marched towards his office. "Ianto get the SUV packed, quick as you can."

Ianto scurried off in the direction of the equipment stores.

"And Toshiko," Jack added, "Tell Owen, if he doesn't co operate, the Torchwood Christmas tree will have some **very **novel decorations on it this year."


	2. Chapter 2

Jack sat in his office, paperwork strewn across his desk, he could hear the door to the garage as it opened and closed. Ianto was clearly busy collecting equipment for the trip, sighing he leaned back in his chair, rubbing the tips of his fingers together, then pressed them against his lips. He mentally ticked the check list of things that had to be done before they left, making sure he hadn't forgotten anything. The most important thing was all the alerts had been diverted to UNIT to deal with.

He glanced out into the hub, the monitors were all switched off now, the place looked strange without the blue glow they generated, he'd never thought of blue as a colour that brought something to life, but without it, the hub looked stark and dead.

Standing up, he began to collect together the files he'd been working on, then carried them to a filing cabinet against the far wall, dropped them into various drawers, then with a final sigh, pushed the last drawer closed, locked the unit and pushed the bunch of keys back into his pocket.

**. . . .**

Toshiko sat in her car, trying to make her mind up what to do about contacting Owen. She knew that his sat nav was still off, she'd checked before leaving the hub- the information file still hadn't been downloaded.

She kept telling herself that he had plenty of time to get the update tomorrow, before he joined them, trouble was, she had a nasty feeling that he was going to make some kind of excuse, and that would mean, she was going to get it in the neck from Jack all weekend, especially if (as she suspected) Owen didn't put in an appearance.

Finally making up her mind, she grabbed her mobile, and rang Owen's number.

**. . . .**

Owen kicked the door to his flat closed behind him. Humming to himself, he dumped keys and phone onto the coffee table, then jogged over to the fridge, pulled out a large bottle of champagne, wiped it carefully with a tea towel and stood it on the work top, grabbed a pair of glasses from one of the unit cupboards, then placed them next to the bottle.

Rubbing his hands together, he grinned, then went back to the coffee table, picked up his mobile and checked for messages.

He sighed-nothing! Just as he was about to drop the phone down again, it rang. He glanced at the display and groaned, his eyes narrowed.

"This is the voice mail of Owen Harper, don't leave a message and I won't get back to you," he parroted, then held his breath and waited.

Tosh's voice said, "Um...Owen?... It's Tosh. You still haven't plugged in your sat nav," she paused, then added, "Don't forget to, if you do I'll get it in the neck from Jack, and I'll see you tomorrow, " then her voice took on a warning tone, "And don't try to duck out of it Owen," then hung up.

"Bloody hell, talk about no hiding place," he grumbled, tossing the phone onto a chair.

**. . . .**

Jennifer Allen's finger hovered over the bell push, she bit her lip, took a deep breath and sighed. Owen **really** wasn't going to like this! Not that she was exactly overjoyed herself-this weekend of all the ones they could have picked!

She pressed the bell and waited, then smiled, the faint sound of Owen yelling something, reached her ears, she shook her head, he was like a two year old sometimes!

The door swung open, bouncing back off its hinges. "Jen," he yelled, grabbing her and pulling her quickly inside.

She found herself giggling, without meaning to, his hands seemed to be everywhere!

"Owen!" she protested, trying to push him away.

"God, I've missed you!" he announced, pushing her back towards the wall, at the same time hooking the door closed with his foot. "About bloody time," he murmured, pressing hard against her, kissing her, his hand busy undoing the buttons of her blouse.

She laughed and pushed back against him, then leaned back slightly, " You don't waste any time!"

"Not soddin' '' likely," he responded, pushing her back the other way.

Jen wriggled, trying to fend off his hands, finally succeeding, she made a run for the living room, she knew he was close behind her, clearly thinking it was a game she was playing.

"Woo, hard to get ... I love it when you fight," he announced, grabbing her and pulling her down onto the settee.

Jen pushed against his shoulders, trying to look annoyed, but it was impossible. "Owen... please..." she pleaded, making another attempt to move away from him.

Owen gave her a baffled look, then slid across the settee, glaring down at the coffee table in front of him, then looking sideways at her, said, "Don't tell me... let me guess," a disappointed look on his face.

Jen sighed, sitting up, she pushed a piece of wayward auburn fringe away from her eyes, and gave him a doleful look. He looked so damned adorable, when he put on the dejected look, trouble was, she knew only too well, how good he was at producing it, usually when he wanted to get his own way- and there was only one thing that ever led to!

Moving over to him, she cuddled close, "I'm sorry," she murmured, quietly.

Owen glanced at her, his eyes wondered from her face to the open blouse, he reached towards her, tracing the shape of her throat with his finger, then ran it slowly down until it stopped between her breasts. " How sorry?" he enquired, his fingers pressing under the lace cup of her bra.

She closed her eyes and groaned, "Oh god Owen, don't do that!"

"What?" he teased, " This?" and moved his hand further over her breast, then pushing her back down towards the cushions.

She closed her eyes, if she didn't stop him right now... slipping off the edge of the settee, she stood up and turned away from him, fastening the buttons of her blouse as quickly as she could, silently praying that he wouldn't try and stop her. If he did, she was lost, and she knew it.

Owen didn't move, glaring up at her back, he blinked and pressed his lips together, "So what is it this time?" he demanded, coldly.

She winced at the tone in his voice, she didn't want to leave with him feeling like this about her, she turned towards him, "I'm _so _sorry," she said, pleading with him to forgive her, then crouched down in front of him, gripping one of his knees to help her balance.

He wouldn't look at her. She rubbed his knee, if he would just look at her, "They cancelled all leave... there's nothing I could do."

Owen finally looked reluctantly her way, "They say why?" he asked, looking dolefully into her eyes.

She shook her head, "You know they never do," she answered, quietly, although both of them knew it was a pointless question to ask.

He shrugged and moved his hand on top of her's, "How long have we got?" he asked. She looked away from him. "That long!" he said, his voice disappointed.

Standing up, she straightened her skirt and forced a smile, "I have to go... they're waiting for me," she paused, nervously waiting to see what his reaction would be, for a split second he didn't move, she thought he wasn't going to, then he blinked and stood up beside her.

"I should be used to this by now... we both should," he looked into her eyes, then cupper her chin with his hands and kissed her long and hard.

She responded to him, refusing to pull back, determined not to give him any more grounds for doubting how she felt about him, as the seconds ticked by she felt her resistance crumbling, "Oh hell Owen, come up for air, for god's sake..." she thought desperately. Almost as if he had heard her, he suddenly broke the kiss.

For a moment she didn't move, then touched his lips with her finger, smiled briefly, then turned towards the door. Owen followed silently behind, then leaned forward and opened the door for her.

She didn't dare to look at him as she passed, then suddenly turned back, grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled him towards her, kissing him, as she released him, she smiled, "And if you so much as look at anyone else this weekend..." she threatened.

Owen smirked, "And if I were you, madam, I'd get the hell out of here, before I lose all sense of decorum, throw you to the ground and have my wicked way, out there in the corridor," he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, then grinned.

She laughed and walked away, turning back, she was just in time to see the door close, she sighed, and made her way downstairs to the waiting transport, hoping that she really was forgiven.

Slouching his way back to the settee, Owen collapsed down onto it, "What kind of weekend did you have, Owen?" he said in a fake, chatty, voice. "Oh, bloody wonderful," he answered himself back," Quick grope and there she was-gone!"

He glared at the mobile phone, thinking he should ring Tosh back and get the details for the trip, he flipped through the phone numbers, looking for hers. Finding it, he looked at the display, "And if you think I'm plugging in that ruddy sat nav, you can forget it darlin'," and hit the dial button.

**. . . .**

Toshiko moved slowly around the kitchen, Pot Noodle in one hand, fork in the other. She swirled the fork around in the bottom of the pot, wondering for the umpteenth time, why the hell she bought these things, instead of proper food. She sighed, largely because she lived alone and she hated shopping, that, and never seeming to be able to find the time to be bothered, that was why.

She had already tossed a few essentials and a change of clothes into a bag and kept glancing out of the kitchen window, between mouth fulls, expecting to see the SUV pull up at any minute.

She was between mouth full and window when the phone rang, seeing it was Owen, she answered more quickly than she should. The first few seconds of the call, were taken up with her choking loudly at him.

When she finally stopped coughing and put the phone to her ear, the first thing she heard was Owen's voice, "Bloody hell Tosh, even I can't manage a soddin'' Heimlich over the phone."

"Sorry," she coughed again.

Owen sighed, "Yeah well, don't worry about it darlin', it seems to be my lucky day for women apologising," he grumbled back.

Tosh shrugged, she hadn't the faintest idea what he was going on about, not that it was unusual, most of what Owen burbled on about went straight over her head, and the vast majority of the rest of it, that did make sense, she often heartily wished didn't!

"What do you want Owen?" she demanded, looking out of the window yet again, "I haven't got much time."

"Sorry, Tosh," Owen's voice sounded like he was trying to be apologetic, but she knew him too well to be fooled, "Oh spit it out, will you Owen? I'm busy."

"Okay, the sat nav's knackered, can you text me with the info and I'll fish out some maps ?" Owen winced as Tosh yelled down the phone at him, then apologised.

"Sorry, yes I will, soon as I can. Might not be tonight though... Jack will be here any minute... unless you want us to meet up with you, so you can follow us down?" she suggested, hopefully.

Owen closed his eyes slowly, "Um, no, texting me the info will do fine, Tosh. Thanks, um, better go, night," and hung up, before she could say any more.

Toshiko sighed, "Idiot," she berated herself, leaning against the kitchen counter, another seconds wait, and her mouth would have been empty, instead, what did she do?

"God, that was so embarrassing!" she murmured to herself.

"Owen bloody Harper," she yelled, throwing the fork into the sink, "Honestly, Toshiko, of all the available men in this world, why the hell did it have to be him?" she kicked at the peddle bin and dropped the pot, and its half eaten contents into it.

Owen opened up his laptop and went hunting for the mapping site. "What was it again?" He sighed, "Oh, sod it!" and snapped the laptop shut.

_Him_ following them? He winced, that was the last thing he wanted! With no sat nav and just maps, there was a **very** good chance that he could get himself lost. Hopefully at the nearest pub, for the entire weekend, and without as much as a **drip** from a paint ball.


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto stopped by the armoury, glancing around him, for once the hub was quiet, the usually incessant electronic hum was gone, leaving just the faint sound of water bubbling in the tanks, before it was syphoned back up again, to repeat its endless plunge from the top of the waterfall. High above his head, Myfanwy's high pitched scream, suddenly echoed around him, making him jump.

Jack came out of his office, pulling on his coat, he peered up into the darkness, she seemed to be doing an awful lot of that lately, perhaps it was the time of year, he though vaguely, trying to remember if there had been such a thing as seasons, in the time she came from. He shook his head, probably not, then glancing across the hub, he noticed Ianto.

"Everything ready?" he yelled.

Ianto nodded,"When ever you are," then turned back towards the garage.

Jack sprinted across the walkways, eager to catch him up, bustled through the doors, and into the underground parking bay.

Settling himself behind the wheel, Ianto checked the rear view mirror, then waited, as Jack wriggled about in the passenger seat, then pulled on his safety belt.

"Right, let's get going, shall we?" he grinned over at Ianto, who just nodded and turned on the engine, then checked the dials as they slowly lit up and began to display their information.

Satisfied that everything was as it should be, Ianto nodded his approval, "Who first?" he enquired, putting the SUV into gear, and turning briefly towards Jack, waiting for him to decide.

Jack took a deep breath, and leaned back into the seat, "I think..." he paused, considering the options, "We should start with Gwen- she's most likely going to need rescuing from an argument."

Ianto paused, then nodded his agreement, "More than likely," he murmured to himself, then released the handbrake.

**. . . .**

Gwen arrived home, to be greeted by darkness and silence. She paused by the door, listening, the fridge motor suddenly shuddered into life, humming contentedly to its self, at first she went towards the kitchen, then changed her mind. Instead, she turned, heading back towards the bedroom.

Rhys was out, so it was probably better to get her stuff packed now. As long as she was quick, it was unlikely she would get caught. She knew Rhys had been talking about visiting his parents this weekend, and she had more or less agreed, she winced, he really wasn't going to be pleased about this!

Throwing a few more things into the bag, she zipped it closed, wondering where the best place would be to leave it, she finally decided on the bed- he rarely went to the bedroom first, so she would have plenty of time to tell him. Satisfied, she headed back towards the kitchen.

Flipping the switch on the kettle, she opened the fridge and began raiding plastic boxes of pasta and tuna, tipping them into a bowl, then dropped a tea bag into a cup. Leaning against the cupboard, she nibbled at bits of pasta while she waited for the kettle to boil, just as she turned towards the drawer to get a fork, Rhys arrived.

Gwen moved nervously towards the living room area, stopping behind the settee, straightening her jumper, she bit her lip, then suddenly realised that he had gone into the bedroom.

"Oh shit!" she closed her eyes, then gulped, and prepared herself for the worst.

Steeling herself for a fight, she was stunned when Rhys meandered cheerfully towards her, grinned and kissed her on the cheek, then pulled her close to him, "So..." he tipped his chin upwards, "We **are** stopping over after all then?" he said, obviously pleased, that the conversation they had about staying overnight with his parents, hadn't fallen on deaf ears.

Gwen blinked nervously, "Um... yes, well, about that..."

Rhys kissed her again, then went over to see what was in the bowl, took another mug out of the cupboard, and checked to see if the kettle had boiled, "I mean, you know what she's like, and if we don't give her enough time to read through everything, we're only going to end up getting it in the neck after, when she reckons there's someone we shouldn't have forgotten," he glanced over at Gwen and laughed, "Don't look so worried, we'll be back by tomorrow tea at the latest, cheer up love, worst things happen at sea!"

Gwen took a deep breath, and tried again, "Rhys..." this time she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

Rhys shrugged cheerfully, "Okay, I'll get it, stick some water in that for me, will you love?" and trotted out towards the door, she heard a brief exchange, then the door slammed shut.

Gwen gulped and waited, listening to his slowly paced footsteps coming back. He only ever walked like that when he was spoiling for a fight, which meant, that it had to be Jack at the door. Looking down at the back of the settee, she waited. His footsteps stopped, but she didn't look up at him, he said nothing, just stood in the doorway, glaring at her.

"Why didn't you just say?" he demanded, angrily, "Oh, no, let poor old Rhys babble on about it, knowing he's wrong, what's the matter Gwen, you get off on watching me look a complete idiot or something?"

Gwen shook her head miserably, and started to say something, but Rhys was in full flow, and wasn't going to be stopped, "Yeah, maybe you do, must do, I've busted a gut trying to sort out all that lot," he waved towards the scattered lists on the coffee table,"The idea is that we do it together, but no... Gwen Cooper has something far more important to do, don't you Gwen?"

Gwen closed her eyes and bit her lip, he was right, there was no getting away from it, since Jack had arrived back, her life seemed to have suddenly been put back on hold.

"Or is this just your, not terribly subtle way, of telling me something?" he demanded, folding his arms across his chest.

Gwen gave him a stunned look, "No, no course it's not, it's just work, you know what it's like," she said, pleading with him for understanding.

Rhys pressed his lips together and glared back at her, "No Gwen, I don't know what it's like, you never tell me what it's like, just Special Ops. Oh, and your American friend with the World War Two fetish," his head jerked towards the door, "Think he's waiting for you," he said and turned away.

Gwen took a step towards him, "Rhys," she started again.

"Don't keep him waiting Gwen, he might not like it," Rhys said, coldly, stabbing at the button to re- boil the kettle.

Gwen hovered, not sure what to do, the doorbell rang again, this time Rhys didn't move, "Rhys." When the doorbell rang yet again, she screamed, "Alright, bloody hell, shut up," at it.

"I'm sorry, I'll have to go," she hesitated, hoping that he would forgive her- at least a little bit, but he didn't move, the doorbell's next repeat had Gwen screaming at it, as she ran for the bedroom to pick up her bag, then flung open the door.

Jack smiled, and just managed to avoid been hit in the face with her bag, as she threw it at him. She slammed the door, then marched off, leaving him standing silently, staring after her, clutching her bag in his arms.

"Yeah, I'm _really_ pleased to see you, too Gwen," he grumbled and turned to follow her.

Gwen didn't slow down until she reached the SUV, then grabbing the door handle, she hauled the door open, got in and slammed it loudly, then sat silently glaring at her knees.

Ianto peered over the back of his seat at her, he started to say something, then stopped, Jack opened up the boot and threw her bag in, then banged it closed.

Ianto watched as Jack reclaimed his seat, Gwen still hadn't said anything, he raised his eyebrows.

Jack shook his head and winced, "Don't ask, lets go and get Tosh, before World War Three breaks out."

**. . . .**

Toshiko spotted the SUV pulling into the kerb, at last! She'd already checked everything had been turned off at least three times, she had been beginning to think that they were never coming.

Grabbing her bag, she had already locked the front door, and was half way down the corridor by the time Jack arrived, he grinned, "Somebodies eager!" he said, pleased, that at least one of the team was enthusiastic about the weekend.

Toshiko shrugged, "Why not?" she smiled up at him, "It's not like I've got anything else to do this weekend."

Jack's smile froze slightly, not exactly the response he'd expected, still it was still positive... wasn't it?

He blinked, probably... for the sake of argument, he decided on positive... for now.

As they walked toward the SUV, Jack leaned across and took Tosh's bag, "You get in, I'll store this." She nodded her thanks and moved towards the passenger door, glancing through the window she saw Gwen, still staring into space.

Ianto nodded cheerfully towards her as she opened the door, she tipped her head briefly towards Gwen and gave him an enquiring look, he returned it with a pained expression and a shrug.

Closing the door carefully, she settled into her seat, watching Gwen as she did, "Alright?" she asked quietly.

Gwen looked at her briefly, nodded, then went back to staring at the back of Jack's seat.

Toshiko fastened her seat belt, blinking uncertainly, as she tried to make her mind up if she should say anything else or not, perhaps not, she thought, sometimes it was best to just leave well alone.

Jack slammed his door closed, pulled on his seat belt and smiled across at Ianto, "Right that's the lot, fully loaded and ready to bear arms," he glanced over at Tosh, "All buckled up?" he asked.

Toshiko nodded back.

"Great, let's get on with it then, shall we? Ianto take it away," he rubbed his hands together, "This is going to be goood!" he said, grinning happily.

**. . . .**

After what seemed like several eternities, all rolled into one, the SUV slowly crept into the car park.

Ianto glanced across at Jack, the comatosed expression on his face summing up how they both felt.

Gwen hadn't uttered a word the whole time. Tosh had fallen asleep at some point (at least he thought she had, her eyes were definitely closed). Jack's cheerfully excited expression, had slowly faded, to moderately interested and then to blank by degrees. When they arrived he just gazed through the windscreen, it didn't seem to register that they had arrived.

"That it?" he murmured, glancing at Ianto for confirmation.

Ianto attempted to look positive, but somehow only managed baffled.

"Oh well," Jack pushed open the door, "Better go and check in," he got out and crunched his way across the gravel towards, well, something that looked suspiciously like somebody's garden shed.

He tried to look right and left without moving his head, hoping that perhaps this was just for the car parking-it wasn't.

As he got closer to the 'office' he noticed an envelope, pinned to it's door. He peered at the scrawled words, finally deciding it said _Harkness_, he ripped it off and opened it up. Two sheets of faintly photocopied paper and a map, "Welcome to the wonderful world of paint balling," he murmured, turning and marching back towards the others.

"That's where we're going," he informed Ianto, handing him the map.

Ianto sniffed disdainfully at it, then slowly rotated it, punched the details into the sat nav and waited, while it updated.

Ianto sighed, then leaned back in his seat, "Well, " he said peering at the map again, "According to this, it's in the middle of Loch Lomond."

"What?" Jack stared at the map then the sat nav.

Ianto blinked, "Unless," he whacked the side of the unit with the palm of his hand, it blinked, then updated. "That's better!" He said, peering at the display, "We're back in Wales."

"Oh, deep joy!" mumbled Jack to himself, "So... we can go now?" he asked hopefully.

"Yep," Ianto answered, releasing the handbrake, then steering them in a slow leisurely circle, off the gravel, and back onto the road.


	4. Chapter 4

After five minutes, spent bumping down a narrow track, hedges on either side blocking their view, and overhanging trees dragging against the roof, the route finally opened out into a good sized parking area.

Ianto gave a sigh of relief, and glanced around, none of the roughly marked out spaces seemed to be designated for any particular plot, so he left a gap between the two cars already parked up, and pulled into what seemed to be a slightly wider bay.

Jack swung the door open enthusiastically, and peered around. At least there was still plenty of daylight left, he thought cheerfully, and every chance of an evening trial run!

Swivelling out of the seat, he paused to open the passenger door for Gwen, then trotted towards the boot and released the hatch, waiting as it slowly opened up, and allowed him to start hauling out their bags.

Ianto joined in, piling the assorted baggage in a heap beside them. Grabbing various bags and boxes the two men struggled around the SUV to the path beyond. As he passed Toshiko, Jack jerked his head in the direction of the bags they had abandoned.

"Bring those will you?" he asked, although it as more of a demand than a request.

Tosh nodded and turned back, then looked around for Gwen, puzzled, she glanced through the windows of the SUV, she seemed to be leaning against its side.

"Gwen?" she yelled towards her, then glanced through the windows again.

She still didn't seem to be moving, so Tosh grabbed the bags and struggled towards her.

"Gwen?" she repeated, more loudly- this time.

This time Gwen responded, glancing towards the sound of Tosh's voice. Realising that the heaviest bag she had belonged to her, she took it from her and apologised.

Jack dropped his share of the baggage in a heap at his feet. Ianto carried on a little further, stopping at a compacted piece of earth that had clearly been prepared for tents. He dropped one of the bags, then moved over to the next, repeating his bag drop, until each pitch had a bag sitting in the centre of it.

He glanced back, clearly pleased with the effect, and nodded to himself, then glanced over at Jack.

"Those are the guns and the safety equipment for them, need to be stowed in one of the tents, once they're up."

Jack nodded, "Okay, fine, now what?"

Ianto went over to the nearest bag and tipped its contents out onto the ground, the tent sprang open, "One tent per pitch, the ground sheets integrated, and the pitch has an anchor in situ, just a case of hooking up," he announced cheerfully, anchoring it to the ground, then pulling the guy ropes towards the metal rings and clipping them home.

Jack silently counted the tents, "Four?" he queried.

"Owen isn't here yet, thought I might as well leave his until he gets here," Ianto murmured, busying himself with the last tent. He didn't say what they were probably both thinking- Owen's arrival was more likely to be an if, than a when.

Tosh and Gwen stopped and watched as Ianto put the finishing touches to the tents. "Doesn't look too bad-does it Gwen?" Tosh forced a smile, hoping she sounded more enthusiastic than she felt.

Jack turned towards them and grinned, "Well there's still plenty of light," then glancing down at his wristband, checked a couple of readings, "And it doesn't look like our neighbours are around , so we can get a bit of practice in now- if you want?"

Gwen blinked and nodded vaguely, "Yeah, why not," she mumbled, then wondered towards one of the tents, "This one mine?" she enquired and glanced over at Ianto, who nodded, and helped her to open the flap, then taking the bag from her, he pushed it safely inside and let the flap drop closed.

He and Jack exchanged glances, both clearly wondering just how much use the weekend was going to be for Gwen.

**. . . .**

Jack paced up and down, impatiently waiting as Ianto helped Gwen to buckle on the equipment and check that it was working properly.

Toshiko watched him quietly as he explained to Gwen, then duplicated what he was doing.

Jack stopped pacing and watched her, he smiled quietly to himself, it never ceased to amaze him how good she was at doing that! It was more than copying, it was understanding at the same time, because not only was the equipment ready to be used, she was ready to use it.

Toshiko glanced down at the safety mask, she didn't like the idea of it very much, but supposed it was necessary, she hated having anything pressing over her mouth. Realising that she was being watched, she looked nervously over at Jack, then forced a smile.

"You sure you want to try this out tonight?" She asked him, shifting the position of her backpack.

Jack grinned back at her, "Sure, why not? We can check out the equipment, get used to it, then get a nice early start tomorrow. I think perhaps we should draw lots for teams- what do you think?"

Tosh nodded slowly, "Yes, probably easiest way, although when Owen gets here we'll be odd numbers," she blinked, trying to figure out how they could get Owen to be in two teams at once.

Ianto glanced towards Jack, he had clearly been following the conversation, and said, "Well, easiest solution is to have a target and the rest of the team pursue them, then equal numbers don't matter."

Jack pointed at Ianto and winked, "Give that man a medal, perfect solution... there you go Tosh, you'll definitely get to play with Owen,"

Toshiko pressed her lips together, turning away in an attempt to hide her blushes, at the same time trying to think of something to say to change the subject. Gwen saw her reaction and glared at Jack, she hated it when he teased her like that, it wasn't fair, or was he getting at her too? Her eyes narrowed suspiciously as she watched him for several seconds, waiting to see if he looked her way, but he only seemed interested in making faces at Ianto.

Gwen looked down at the gun, she sighed, Ianto had said you pressed something, she pursed her lips and guessed, nothing seemed to have happened, she pulled the trigger, not expecting what followed.

A paint ball whizzed through the air, narrowly missed Ianto's head and hit a tree just behind him, he yelled, and spun round to face her.

Jack's automatic reaction to Ianto's yell was to hit the floor first and ask questions later, suddenly realising that he had over reacted slightly, he glanced warily towards the others- hoping they hadn't noticed he was now lying on the floor, closely inspecting a squashed dock leaf.

Toshiko was staring at Ianto in amazement, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him react like that! Gwen was all apologies, but clearly un-nerved, Ianto marched towards her and snatched the gun from her hands, waved it in front of her nose, then showed her again where the cut off was. Trying to appease him she said, "Well at least I missed you, it could have been worse, if it was Owen, he probably wouldn't have," she added defensively.

"If it had been Owen he wouldn't have been able to sit down, and we'd have needed a replacement gun." Ianto yelled back at her.

Toshiko shuffled nervously, "I'm sure Owen wouldn't have done it deliberately, he's a very good shot, he only hits what he means..." suddenly realising, that perhaps reminding him of that wasn't a good idea, she changed tack slightly." He's very safety minded, it wouldn't have happened."

"And your suggesting that I'm **not**?" Gwen sniped back at her.

"No, 'course I'm not... I just said that I didn't think that Owen..."

Seeing the onset of the makings of a brawl, seemingly triggered by the usual protagonist (even though he wasn't even present) Jack stepped forward and attempted to take control.

"Okay, people, _thank you_," he clapped his hands to get their attention, then waited as they reluctantly looked in his direction. " I think we all understand the basics now," he smiled at Gwen, who scowled back at him, "And I'm sure that Owen doesn't need defending by anyone here," he raised his eyebrows towards Toshiko, who blinked nervously and stared at her feet.

"There's still plenty of light," he said, looking cheerfully up through the green canopy above them, at what little of the sky was visible. "How about boys versus girls?" he grinned at Gwen, who pursed her lips and sniffed, "How about mixed doubles?" she retorted.

Ianto tried to blend into the background and murmured, "How about every man for himself?" then prepared to dodge around the back of a conveniently place bush.

"Good idea, Ianto," Gwen nodded towards him, and pointed the gun directly at Jack, "Coming, ready or not?" she enquired, raising her eyebrows, then pulling on the safety mask.

"Erm..." Jack blinked, then decided the expression on her face didn't bode well for him, unless he got out of range quickly, backing up he blurted out, "Twenty seconds start," and sprinted for cover.

"You'll have to run a hell ova sight faster than that, Jack bloody Harkness. Your arse is mine!" Gwen yelled, running after him.

Ianto opened his mouth to say something, coughed and looked at Tosh, "Perhaps we should just... follow?" he suggested vaguely.

Tosh shrugged, "Might as well," took a few steps and then stopped, "Maybe we would be better sticking to the path?" she looked back to Ianto, who glanced at a rather large patch of nettles right in front of them and agreed enthusiastically.

They detoured slightly and joined what looked to be a narrow footpath. Ianto dug into his pockets and took out a roll of sweets, "Mint?" he offered. Toshiko thanked him, finally succeeding in releasing one from the packet, and popped it into her mouth, they walked along in silence, trying to track where the other two were.

Tosh sucked the mint and peered through the overhanging greenery, "Can you see anything?" she asked.

Ianto shook his head, "Nope, not a thing, they could be anywhere," he sighed, "I don't see why this couldn't have waited 'til tomorrow."

Tosh nodded in a agreement, "I know, suppose he was just eager to get things started."

Ianto suddenly stopped, "We've got no chance of finding them now- why don't we just go back to the tents?"

Toshiko hesitated, then nodded, "Perhaps we should, I still haven't sent Owen the details to find this place, and if I don't he's going to use it as an excuse."

Ianto looked puzzled, "I thought you just had to send it to his sat nav?"

Tosh snorted, "I wish! He reckons it's on the blink and asked me to text him with the details, so he could use a map."

They both turned back the way they had come. Ianto laughed, "Owen, using a map? Really?"

Toshiko shook her head, "I know, only plus is he wanted the information earlier and I didn't send it, so now I can give him the directions to get here, instead of the office."

Ianto nodded, "Not only that, he can't get them mixed up and accidentally end up not finding us," he commented, and then suddenly wondered if it might not be such a bad idea. They were already arguing without him, if he was actually joining in, all hell would probably break loose.

Tosh and Ianto trudged back to the tents in silence. Ianto sighed, it wasn't the easiest place to find, and Owen would have a field day with the excuses on Monday morning!

Suddenly an idea struck him and he turned to Tosh, "You know, there could be a way of making sure he can't get out of this."

Tosh looked doubtfully back at him, "What?" she asked, none too hopefully.

"Well," Ianto paused, a smirk beginning to form at the corner of his mouth, "If we sent him a little film of the turn off, and where the site is..."

He raised his eyebrows at Tosh, who grinned back,and added, "Along with the map refs, he couldn't claim he couldn't find us."

Ianto nodded, "And he couldn't claim stupidity 'cos even he's not that dumb!"

Tosh grinned, checking the battery on her phone, "Should be okay for a couple of short snatches, enough for what we want anyway," she said, walking back towards the parking bay, Ianto close behind.

After several minutes of jogging back to the road, then taking shots of the route, they were back at the tents again.

"Hold up the safety stuff, Ianto," Tosh called over at him, he laughed and turned towards her, waving the mask as if it were a severed head, she giggled and started the phone recording him. "And Owen, these are all ready and waiting for you, so get a move on."

She stopped the recording and nodded, "Right, he can't argue with that!" she said and nodded her approval, "All I have to do now is text the map reference and were done."

"Not that he won't try," Ianto commented, "But we've all got lumbered with this, so I don't see why he should be able to wriggle out of it."

"Me either," responded Toshiko, cheerfully unzipping the tent flap, she went inside and began to settle herself in.

Ianto looked around, nothing seemed to be moving, he wondered where Gwen and Jack had got to, and more to the point what they were getting up to!


	5. Chapter 5

Bursting out of the closely packed shrubbery, leaves still clinging to his hair and clothing, Jack dived for cover.

As soon as he hit the floor, he rolled under the overhanging branches of a nearby bush. He could hear Gwen hurtling through the undergrowth towards him, he held his breath and waited.

Gwen trampled through the last clump of greenery and stopped, her breathing echoing around in the safety helmet. She gripped her gun tightly, and looked around for any signs of movement, she knew he couldn't be that far in front of her, then she stared at the path- red paint marks were imprinted on odd patches of soil.

She was sure that she had hit his back at least once, so the only way that could have happened was if he had dropped and rolled into cover.

Standing perfectly still, eyes narrowing, she considered the options. Question was, were the marks recent or not? If that paint was from him, then he was far too close for comfort! Backing up she moved slowly away from where she presumed Jack could be hiding, then fell over something and sat down with a bump.

"Bloody Hell!" she yelled, dropping her gun as she fell. Before she had chance to retrieve it, Jack was on his feet and in front of her, grinning.

"You want to surrender?" he demanded, his finger ready to press the trigger if she said no.

Gwen sighed, "Yeah, yeah, why not? I surrender," she said pulling off the mask and taking a deep breath.

Jack smirked and turned the muzzle of the gun away from her, "Should think so too... need a hand?" he asked, reaching down to her.

Gwen wriggled slightly, then reluctantly took hold of his hand and pulled herself upright. "Yeah, thanks," she turned and dusted herself off, then stared at the remains of the tent that she had fallen on to.

Jack was already moving around her, puzzled. Pulling off his mask, he surveyed the debris.They seemed to have found another camping area, but this one looked like it had been abandoned, the tents and contents were strewn around, as if animals had been investigating them.

Dropping mask and gun on top of the remains of the tent, Jack glanced at his wrist strap, pressed various buttons, then waved his arm experimentally around, peered at the display and then shrugged.

"Nope, definitely nobody around," he looked down at the remains of the tent, "And its not exactly cheap equipment either- not the sort of stuff you'd just abandon."

He wandered off down the track towards where he presumed the parking bays would be, then stopped and stared, "And neither is that," he nodded towards an expensive BMW, standing forlornly next to an equally impressive black Range Rover.

Gwen caught him up, "Maybe they just got fed up roughing it, and headed for the nearest spot of civilisation?"

Jack glanced at the BMW, leaves from the overhanging trees were scattered across its bonnet and roof, he walked over and brushed them off, careful not to trigger the alarm, some of them were stuck to the paintwork.

Taking a step back, he clapped his hands together, assorted shreds of greenery falling to the floor. "If I had a car like that, I wouldn't treat it like that... would you?" he said glancing at Gwen, hoping that he was over reacting and she wasn't thinking the same thing he was.

Gwen shook her head, "Looks like both of these arrived together... or at least within a few hours of each other," she turned, looking around the rest of the parking area. "Doesn't look like anything else has been parked here recently, but maybe they were picked up?" she speculated.

Jack nodded briefly, but he wasn't convinced, "So, why leave all this kit?"

"Could have intended to come back, then didn't for some reason?" Gwen suggested, although she clearly wasn't convinced.

Jack surveyed the area, "It's possible," he paused, considering all the options. "I think we should get back to the others, check this out properly later," he glanced up through the trees, "Were losing light, and this isn't exactly a flood lit street."

They retraced their steps, giving Jack thechance to retrieve his gun and mask, as they passed one of the tents, Jack bent down, picking up something. He turned to Gwen.

"Here, catch," and threw a torch towards her.

Gwen caught it, checking the battery, "Thanks, we might just need this."

Taking one final look around them, they turned, and made their way warily back towards the others.

**. . . .**

Ianto sat on top of his sleeping bag, listening for movement outside, once or twice he was convinced that someone was moving around, but when he called out, there was no response. The battery lantern flickered now and then, he glanced towards it, tapping its base, and hoping that it wasn't about to run out of power.

He looked towards Toshiko's tent, if he turned out his light, he could just make out the dim glow that told him she was still awake, probably working on something while her laptop battery lasted.

Jack and Gwen should be back by now. He wasn't really worried, they shouldn't have any trouble finding the camp site, even in limited visibility, but he just didn't like the idea of them being together in the dark for some reason- not that he felt jealous, why should he be?

Ianto wriggled uncomfortably, although whether it was because of the thought of them together, or simply the roughness of the ground, was an option he deliberately avoided thinking about too closely.

Suddenly convinced he had heard Gwen's voice, he turned off the light, the other tent was now in darkness, it looked like Tosh was asleep. Voices seemed to be coming closer, he turned the light back on and moved across to the zipped tent flap, partially opening it, he stuck his head out.

**. . . .**

Jack turned, waiting for Gwen to catch up, the last thing they needed was to get separated in the darkness.

"How much further?" Gwen demanded, stopping for breath, "I'm sure we didn't cover this much ground."

Jack smirked, "Are you suggesting that we could be lost?"

Gwen grimaced, "Perish the thought, that any man can't find his way anywhere in total darkness!"

Jack looked smugly down at her, then waved his hand towards a light just in front of them, "You were complaining?"

"Oh thank God for that!" she exclaimed, and hurried towards the light.

**. . . .**

Ianto squinted into the darkness, trying to work out the direction of the voices, then he heard leaves rustling, and Gwen burst into view. She stopped and the beam of her torch swept briefly across his face, then down to the ground.

He grinned, grabbed the lantern, and fought his way out of the tent, struggling to pull down the bottom of his T-shirt so it would cover the gap between it and the waistband of his tracksuit bottoms.

Standing up straight, he made a final adjustment to the front of the T-shirt, then held the light aloft, just as Jack appeared.

"Very nice... neatness in the face of adversity!" Jack laughed, "I would have expected no less."

Ianto attempted not to look pleased, then smiled at Gwen, who giggled and hugged him.

"I wouldn't mind a quick nibble myself," she said, prodding at the slogan across his chest, then winking up at him. "I am knackered, and I'm going to turn in," she announced, patting his arm, then marching towards her tent, "And if anyone has even the remotest idea about a six a.m. reveille, I will personally ram their bugle where the sun don't shine."

Jacks eyebrows shot upwards and he sniggered, "Promises, promises!"

"I'd watch out for her right cross, if I were you- it's deadly," Ianto added, winking at Jack.

Gwen was already zipping up the tent flap, "Not to mention silent," she added just as the flap closed up completely.

Jack moved closer to Ianto, curious to see what Gwen had been commenting on. Ianto shuffled nervously.

"Its an old one... I just sleep in it," he added defensively.

"I don't bite, I just nibble a bit," Jack read out aloud, then wriggled his nose, "Really? anywhere I'd be interested in?"

Ianto twitched, and moved the position of the lantern in an attempt to hide the slogan. "Any problems?" he enquired, in a blatant attempt to change the subject.

Jack smirked, then glanced towards Toshiko's tent, "Looks like someone's managed to get to sleep," he commented.

Ianto nodded, his voice now quieter, he murmured, "Your tents ready, how early a start are we making tomorrow?"

Jack shrugged, "Fairly early I think, did you hear anything from Owen?"

Ianto shook his head, "Tosh sent him full instructions, but I don't think she got a response, she would have said if she had."

"Well, let's just hope that he doesn't decide to play silly buggers, he can be a real pain sometimes," Jack murmured to himself, but Ianto overheard, and nodded in agreement, he could say that again! Owen Harper was the bane of his life, and lately he seemed to have been getting steadily worse, if he called him tea boy, just one more time...

Toshiko lay huddled up in her sleeping bag, quietly listening to the others as they greeted each other, then went to their tents.

Wriggling deeper inside the bag, so it would hopefully muffle any sound, she quickly switched her torch on and off so she could check her phone's display. She sighed, he still hadn't turned his phone on.

She couldn't shake the feeling that he was going to stretch Jack's patience as far as possible, the only problem with that was Owen constantly misjudged it, and Jack persistently changed the parameters. The end result of that was, Owen always lost, and if there was one thing guaranteed to infuriate Owen, it was losing.

"Oh, _Owen_!" She sighed. What the hell was wrong with her? The world was full of perfectly amiable men (at least her mother had always insisted that it was) but which one got under her skin? The one she had managed to alienate completely, and the only one that she really wanted!

She rolled onto her back and groaned, it just wasn't fair. Almost on cue, her phone trilled briefly, she quickly checked the menu, then gave a sigh of relief, he'd got her messages.

She closed her eyes for a second, then turned off her mobile, and settled down to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Daylight dawned over the Torchwood campsite, heralded in by the dulcet tones of Gwen, her swearing echoing around the portaloo, as Ianto desperately tried to persuade it's lock to open.

He wasn't helped by Jack, who insisted on going back to the SUV repeatedly, only to return clutching varying items, that inevitable proved to be of no help what so ever.

After his third repeated trip, Ianto threatened him with his screwdriver and Jack decided perhaps offering him a newspaper and metal coat hanger, wasn't the most practical idea he had ever had, and retreated back to the campsite, to see if Toshiko had woken up yet.

He arrived to find her standing in front of her tent, bundled up in a padded jacket, the bottom of a fine, pink silk, negligee just visible at her knees. A large holdall hung over her shoulder, her feet resplendent, in large, pink slippers with bunny rabbit ears.

Jack stopped, then looked her up and down, as she peered dolefully over at him, "Where is the um...?" She asked hurriedly, jigging up and down.

Closing his eyes in an attempt to shift the image of the slippers, his second look confirmed his worst fears-they were real. His gaze automatically drifted straight back down to her feet.

"There may be a slight problem," he told the slippers, transfixed as they moved towards him, the ears bobbing slightly.

"How big a problem?" She enquired, nervously.

Jack shrugged, pointing through the trees, "One's permanently engaged at the moment, think there is another one on the other side," he murmured moving out of the way, as the slippers bopped their way down the path.

He stood for a moment, watching her walk away, somehow he had never imagined her wearing anything like that!

Surprisingly, he found himself feeling thankful that Owen wasn't there to see them, the poor woman would never live it down! Without really thinking, he closed his eyes again, the image of those rabbit ears waved around on the back of his eyelids, refusing to go away. He opened his eyes and shuddered, something told him that his enduring memory of this weekend, was not going to have anything to do with paint balling!

Sitting down on a tree stump, Jack sighed and looked around the deserted camp site, he had no idea what time it was, just that it was daylight. Without intending to, he took stock of the current situation.

His medical officer was supposedly coming this way-although knowing Owen that was extremely debatable! His technical expert was somewhere, wearing, well, something he really didn't want to remind himself of. The _heart_ of his team was currently locked in a portaloo, swearing like a trooper, and the man he always relied on to sort out any problems was... walking towards him looking very nervous.

Jack tipped his head back and sighed, he smiled vaguely in Ianto's direction, and prepared himself, for what he was convinced, was going to be yet another problem.

Ianto stopped in front of him, shuffled his feet nervously, and licked his lips, "Good news," he announced, with forced optimism, "Gwen's got herself out of the erm..." he nodded his head in the vague direction of the toilet.

"Oh good!" Jack said, looking guardedly back at him, then waiting for him to add something else.

Ianto's gaze had now wondered off, towards the ropes connected to one of the tents. Jack waited, he knew there was more to come, and he was in no rush.

"Much damage?" he queried, raising his eyebrows.

Ianto shook his head, eyes innocently widening, "Nooo, very little really- considering..."

Before Jack had the chance to push for more details, Ianto added, "...That she had to drop kick the door to get out, the locks a bit... bent, and there's the odd..." He chose his words carefully, "Dent," he mumbled, "But other than that..." he said, slowly grinding to a halt.

"So... nothing really for me to worry about?"Jack asked, guardedly.

Ianto chewed the inside of his lip thoughtfully, "Well, no, not _worry_, exactly," he murmured and stared off into the distance.

Jack stood up, bored with his insistence on beating about the bush, when there was clearly something wrong. "Okay lets cut the..."

He was interrupted by Gwen's arrival, she smiled and glanced hopefully at Ianto, when he shook his head briefly at her, the smile slipped quickly away.

Glancing from one to the other, Jack raised his eyebrows."I take it that whatever this insignificantly small problem is, that you don't think I need to know about, has something to do with what just happened?"

Gwen pursed her lips, "Well," she murmured, her eyes widening as she tried to think of an easy way of explaining things.

Jack groaned and sat back down again, "Okay, tell you what we'll do," he slowly rubbed his face with his hands, then looked wearily over towards Gwen, "You tell me what it is, that you don't want to tell me because it's so minor, then I will decide if it is or not... how's that?"

"Okay... fair enough," Gwen agreed, then blinked nervously, the silence was deafening.

Clearing her throat for the third time, she finally said," You know how we brought a couple of those pieces of alien tech., to test out under field conditions?"She smiled nervously at him.

Jack nodded and said nothing.

"Well, when I was stuck in the, erm," she turned vaguely in the direction of the portaloo,"Well, I suddenly realised that they were in my pocket, and I didn't want to get them damaged when I kicked in the door, so..." she glanced nervously at Ianto, then continued,"So I put them... somewhere safe, just in case."

Jack looked straight towards her, waiting for her to carry on.

She coughed, "Well, anyway, I got the door open," she attempted to look positive, then added,"But because of it being metal, well it vibrated a bit, and the safe place I'd put them... well they dropped off, into the erm," Gwen pointed down to the floor and then made circular movements.

Jacks mouth dropped open, he shook his head, "Okay, so your telling me that these unique pieces of alien tech are... waterlogged?"

Gwen blinked,"Probably."

"What do you mean, probably?" he asked suspiciously,"Why don't you know?"

"Well, you see, when I ... got the door open I fell over a bit, and hit the um..." she mimed a toilet being flushed.

Jack slowly closed his eyes, and pressed his index finger across the bridge of his nose. Suddenly realising something, he brightened up, "Yeah, but those toilets are those chemical things right? No plumbing? Everything goes into a little box?"

Ianto slowly shook his head, "Forestry Commission perk, they wanted properly plumbed in... arrangements, so when the paint balling company wanted to rent the area ..."

"They did a deal, and got themselves mains plumbing," Jack finished off. Ianto nodded.

"Oh great!" Jack looked wearily across at Ianto, "So your telling me, that these unique alien artefacts are now... where exactly?"

"Well," Ianto pressed his lips together, considering the options. "I'm not quite sure where the treatment plant is from here, they changed things a few years back, they have to dump it treated now... EEC directive... mind you, it's possible that it wasn't routed into the main sewerage system, it could have been linked up to a..."

"Ianto," Jack interrupted him,"I'm not really bothered where it links up to, were out in the back of beyond."

"I wouldn't call rural... well it is a bit," he conceded, "But I'm sure that it would be fairly simple job to track..."

Jack held up his hand, silencing Ianto mid sentence. "I think, that what we really need to do here, is to miss file them."

Ianto's face froze, "Miss f..., miss fi..., " he stuttered his mouth refusing to form the words.

"Miss file," Jack repeated slowly.

Ianto nodded dumbly clearly not happy, his hands shaking noticeably.

"Okay?" Jack asked, turning towards Gwen, who nodded back eagerly and looked relieved. "Great, that's all sorted then," he clapped his hands and smiled at both of them in turn.

Toshiko walked back to the campsite, she had got dressed in the shower block, and was now ready for whatever the day felt like throwing her way, pleased that Gwen and Ianto were also ready, she walked past them, nodding towards Jack, " Hi, Jack," she smiled and turned towards her tent.

"I wish!" he responded. She turned back puzzled, "Sorry?"

Jack smiled at her, glanced at the other two, then shook his head, "Nothing... joke."

Toshiko nodded and shrugged, she hadn't the foggiest idea what he was going on about, decided it was best not to press for any more details and concentrated on the tent flap zip, "So where do we start?" she asked cheerfully.

Gwen looked enquiringly over to Jack, who nodded slightly, then said, "We came across something unusual last night."

Ianto immediately stared straight at him.

Slightly unnerved, Jack added, "Well, we thought it was... an abandoned camp, back there somewhere," he pointed into the trees behind him.

Ianto's expression didn't change, "So... are we going to take a look now or later?"

Jack shrugged, "Well, I thought now would be as good a time as any... there's some reason why you need to know?" he said, glaring back at him.

Ianto backed down slightly, "Well, no, but it might be as well to lock up any equipment we don't take with us in the SUV."

Jack smiled, as usual he was covering all the options, "Good idea, I'll give you a hand, give the girls a chance to get ready."

Finally satisfied that they were in a position to move out, Jack checked his wrist strap. "Okay, lets get this show on the road people," and marched off into the undergrowth, closely followed by the others.

**. . . .**

Fifteen minutes later, Jack paused, trying to make out what the outlines was he could just see through the trees in front of them. Gwen stopped, glancing around, she shook her head, "This can't be it, we were walking for a lot longer than this last night."

Jack tapped his wrist strap, "Nope, this is definitely the place,."

"No its not," she contradicted him, "No way , we were much further away than this... I was a girl guide."

"I was stuck in a lift with six people and a dog, in a curry house in Bombay," Jack announced.

Gwen winced, "Nice! but I don't see what that, has to do with this."

"About as much as you being a girl guide," he retorted, walking forwards and pushing aside some overhanging branches.

Sighing, she followed him, "I know it was dark, but there's no way it would make that much difference, unless we were going round in bloody circles for an hour...we weren't were we?"

Jack shrugged, "Whatever," then nodded towards something, "Look familiar?"

The unmistakable bulk of the abandoned Range Rover loomed up in front of them.

Ianto whistled, and pushed past them, making his way towards it for a closer look, "Nice!"

"You should see what's parked behind it," commented Jack.

Ianto raised his eyebrows enquiringly, then moved off to the side slightly, he suddenly stopped, and stared, "Blimey!" he said, circling it slowly."Top of the range- they both are," he glanced back at Jack, "No one in their right mind would leave these here unattended."

Jack nodded his agreement, "Think the best thing we can do is to stick together, keep out of the heavy woodland as much as possible, and see if we can pick up on anything that might explain this." They all nodded in agreement, then struck out towards more open ground that ran towards the road.

The route they had chosen, finally opened out into a clearing, strewn with sawn off tree trunks, that served as make shift benches.

"There's nothing obvious anywhere, we're going to have to try a more wooded area,"Jack glanced over to Ianto, who nodded, then making up his mind, told Toshiko and Gwen to stay where they were, and led Ianto off towards the trees.

Gwen watched him go, clearly annoyed that she was being left behind, she smiled vaguely at Toshiko, then paced back and forth, keeping an eye on the two men until they were out of sight.

"I'm going to take a look over here," she suddenly announced, marching off towards the tree line in the opposite direction to the one the other two had taken.

"Yes, but Gwen, Jack said to stay here," Tosh muttered, sitting down on one of the logs.

"Oh, stop fussing, I'll be back long before they are, you stay here, and then if I lose my bearings, I'll shout you, and you can guide me back," she turned briefly back towards Toshiko, "Alright?"

Toshiko shrugged, "Suppose so," she murmured, there was little point in arguing with Gwen when she got an idea in her head, it was just a waste of time and energy.

Gwen walked on, as soon as she was past the first few trees the ground became much rougher, she barely made any progress, at this rate she was going to have to turn back.

Something moving made her look towards a patch of dense foliage, she could have sworn... she shook her head, imagining things now! Turning, she began to pick her way back towards easier ground, suddenly unnerved, she stopped, convinced there was something behind her!

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, licking her lips, and then taking a deep breath, she turned slowly around, she stared- it couldn't be! "Oh my..."


	7. Chapter 7

Gwen stared in horror as the grey, featureless face, turned towards her. She knew what it was- there was little doubt of that, but its size stunned her! For a split second, she thought that it couldn't have any idea where she was, then she became aware of its eye stalks, waving towards her.

"Okay," she said to herself, "No need to panic... it's a snail," blinking nervously and hoping it didn't decided to move any nearer. She could remember seeing her Dad dealing with them, when he was gardening.

"I'll need a bloody big shovel," she murmured to herself- it was the size of a small dog! Taking two steps backwards, she almost screamed as it moved rapidly towards her, "Bloody hell! They aren't supposed to move that fast!"

"Right, well, I think maybe its time I left you to... do whatever it is you do," she said, gulped and moved to one side, the snail mirrored her movements. She looked around desperately for ground that would be easier to move quickly on, there was a path of sorts, she decided to head for that.

She moved, only for the snail to follow her again, and this time it came closer.

"Oh, shit!" This wasn't going very well. Trying to back up slowly and hoping that it didn't realise, she started yelling for Toshiko.

Something stung the back of her hand, she looked down in surprise, a small sticky patch of shiny, green gunge, began to run slowly down her hand towards her fingers, as she looked at it, she suddenly had difficulty focusing. She looked up again, the trees were slowly spinning around her.

She was vaguely aware that the snail was coming towards her, she tried to move, then was overwhelmed by the sensation that she was falling, very, very, slowly, towards the ground. She didn't feel any impact, but was sure that she was looking up at the sky, then a grey cloud moved across it, blocking out the sky.

A smell that she couldn't quite place, made her feel nauseous, her mouth and nose felt like a water bag was being pressed over it, but she couldn't move to push it away.

The last thing that flitted through her mind, was that they really needed to stock up on air fresheners.

**. . . .**

Jack and Ianto marched back towards Toshiko. Jack shook his head, "Not so much as a worm moving around out there, no bird song-nothing."

Tosh glanced towards them and smiled, about to ask where Gwen was, Jack suddenly stared over at Ianto, "No bird song, Ianto."

Ianto stopped dead, listening for a second, then he and Jack exchanged a worried look. Clearly now unnerved, Jack looked around them, "I think we had better get the hell out of here, where's Gwen?"

"She..." Toshiko was interrupted by the sound of Gwen's voice calling her.

"You two wait here, I'll go and find her," Jack moved off towards the tree line, Ianto slumped down onto the log next to Toshiko, silently watching Jack until he disappeared from view.

"Do you really think there's something ... wrong?" Toshiko asked him, nervously.

Ianto shrugged, "I know it seems unlikely, and its probably nothing, but..."

**. . . .**

Jack picked his way into the adjoining field, it was fairly rough going even for him, finally looking up, he glanced around the area, there was no sign of Gwen anywhere.

A slight movement, some distance in front of him, caught his attention, at first he wasn't completely convinced he wasn't hallucinating!

A grey, faceless head was swaying gently, its eye stalks waving, as it attempted to get him into focus, not wanting to give whatever it was the opportunity to get a good look at him, he moved off quickly, weaving around as much as possible in an attempt to stop it from tracking his movements.

It was only as he came further around towards the side of whatever it was, that he realised that there was something lying underneath it's body- and the something was wearing clothes that were strangely familiar.

Suddenly realising what he was looking at, Jack drew his revolver and fired into the air, then rushing towards the swaying head, he turned his revolver and swung it like a club, butt first, whacking it across the side of it's head.

Jack was vaguely aware of something buzzing past his hand, it wasn't until he took the second swing at the thing's head, and partially destroyed one of the shorter antenna, that he realised that it had been shooting something at him.

Glancing down at the sleeve of his coat, the same green gunk that had hit Gwen's hand slowly ran down the thick material. Jack bent his arm, it puddled into the folds of his coat sleeve, his mind on other more important things, he went back to systematically destroying what still remained of the head.

**. . . .**

The sound of the pistol shot galvanised Ianto into action, springing to his feet, he hurtled towards the line of trees, leaving Toshiko floundering in his wake, he was out of sight in moments. Toshiko slowed to a walk and followed at a more sedate pace, there was no way that she cold hope to keep up with Ianto over this kind of ground.

Ianto hurtled into the next field, he could see Jack, attacking something, by the time he arrive next to him, all there was left to show of what had once been, was a grey pulverised mess. Unfortunately destroying the head didn't seem to be the end of their problems.

The body was still firmly suctioned over Gwen's face, and no amount of force would release it.

Ianto's hand shot into his pocket, pulling out a Swiss Army knife, he opened it up and hurled himself at the shell of the snail, pushing it as hard as he could, he began to hack at the gap between the body and the shell, Jack grabbed his own pen knife, and began to do the same thing.

Ianto gave the shell a push, and heaved a sigh of relief as it fell free of the body and rolled across the grass, at the same moment, the body relaxed, and they began pulling what remained of it away from Gwen's face.

Jack finally managed to free Gwen's nose and mouth, giving her a chance to take in some air, but she wasn't breathing, and he had no way of knowing how long that had been the case. Quickly tipping her head back, he began artificial respiration. Ianto was instantly beside her, checking for a pulse, then gave a sigh of relief as his finger finally picked up the faint and struggling thump, that told him her heart was still beating-just.

Toshiko stood silently watching, there was nothing that she could contribute with, so she stayed back, giving them room to work, and wishing (not for the first time) that Owen was with them.

Gwen's body suddenly arched, she coughed and Jack pushed her over onto her side, then held her gently as she gasped for breath. He looked over at Ianto, the two grinned at each other. Ianto released her hand and stood up, then glancing around the grass, took several bags from his pocket, bagan slowly moving around, picking up a sample here and there and depositing into first one bag and then the other.

Toshiko kicked the snail's shell with her foot and stared at it, "This can't be real," she murmured, looking towards Ianto, "There is no way that a snail cold grow this big-is there?"

Ianto stared down, the snail's internal organs clearly visible, tucked safely away inside their protective shell, "If you'd asked me that yesterday," he paused, "I would've said no way, but now..." He glanced over at Gwen, who was now sitting up,and trying to make sense of what had happened to her.

Jack helped her up onto her feet, "I think maybe the sooner we get clear of all this greenery, the better," he said, looking towards the other two, "I hate to say it but I think I'm beginning to share Owen's feelings about grass."

Grabbing the edge of the shell, at the same time pulling a spare carrier bag from his pocket, Ianto dumped it inside, dropped the smaller bags in with it, then waited, as Jack and Gwen moved slowly towards them.

Spotting the congealed mess on Jack's coat sleeve, Ianto zeroed in on it, hankie in hand. Jack pulled away, "Careful, I think it was firing that at me- and if it was, I doubt that it's people friendly."

Gwen blinked, then looked down at the back of her hand, she waved it towards Jack, she couldn't put the words together, her brain still felt scrambled, but she knew that what was on the back of her hand, had something to do with it.

Ianto reached for his pen knife, eyes fixed on the sleeve of Jack's coat. "Don't even think about it," Jack warned him.

Ianto quirked his lips, and shrugged, "I could always try scraping it off," he suggested, vaguely.

Jack blinked, then held out his arm, "Fine, scrape away," he said, turning his attention back to Gwen.

Ianto systematically worked his way across the area, removing every last smudge, wiping the blade on a hankie, he then dropped it and the pen knife into another sample bag, sealed the top and added it to his growing collection in the carrier bag.

"Okay," Jack nodded his thanks to Ianto for sorting out his coat, then looked towards the road, "I think the best thing we can do, is find a nice open space-preferably concreted, then if you," he glanced at Ianto, "Can stay with Gwen, Tosh can come back with me, to collect the SUV . Then we can come back and pick you two up and then we'll go and see if we can find a doctor, to check you over," he smiled down at Gwen.

"I'm alright," Gwen mumbled, swaying slightly.

Jack took the sample bags from Ianto, who supported Gwen, then turned to Toshiko, "Come on, sooner we get going, sooner we get back," he looked nervously behind them."I don't think this is a good place to loiter, do you?" Toshiko shook her head.

They reached the hedgerow that edged the field, then forced their way through onto the narrow pavement on the other side.

Jack was already moving off, "Tosh," he yelled, "Back as soon as we can," he added unnecessarily, turning away and striding off, Toshiko trotting behind him.

Ianto helped Gwen to sit down on the pavement, it wasn't exactly comfortable, but neither of them were terribly eager to move anywhere else.

**. . . .**

Owen sat glaring into the wing mirror of his car, " Just what I need, Plods are bloody Us!" he mumbled to himself, as he watched the uniformed police officer walking slowly towards his car.

He raised his eyes slightly, glancing through the car's side window at the uniform, it bent over, and a face moved into his line of vision, a finger tapped on the glass and signalled for him to wind down the window. Owen blinked slowly and did as he was asked.

"Good morning, sir," the police man's gaze flicked around the interior of the car, checked briefly for passengers, then turned his attention back to Owen, who mumbled something and waited for the next question.

"Is this your vehicle, sir?" he asked, eyeing him up and down.

Owen sighed and gave him a bored look, "Yes, officer, it is."

The policeman nodded slowly, "Have you any idea of the speed you were driving this vehicle, sir?" he gave Owen a world weary look, and waited for the usual collection of comments, that inevitably began with shocked horror, then moved rapidly through amazement to end on blank denial- judging by the look on this one's face he was probably going to skip the usual preamble and just go straight for blank denial.

"I'm a doctor and I'm on call," Owen announced, then waited for him to ask for his identification.

The policeman sniffed, he hadn't heard that one in a while! Straightening up he moved away from the door, "Perhaps you'd like to step out of the vehicle for a moment, sir?"

Owen didn't move, he took out his ID and held it out towards the man, "Why don't you just get on your radio and check, then perhaps we can save both of us a lot of time and trouble... officer."

The policeman sighed, glanced at the plastic card with the unfamiliar 'T' emblazoned on it, he could think of several words beginning with 'T' that fitted the driver like a glove, under normal circumstances he would have hauled the man out of the car by now, but some instinct told him to take it easy and check first. Taking the card from Owen, he nodded, then tapped his radio, turning away from the car as he did so.

Owen sighed and released his seat belt, the urge to open the car door and accidentally shove the other man over was growing by the second, but he gritted his teeth and counted slowly, he was still counting, when his identification was returned to him.

He took hold of it in silence, but the police officer didn't immediately let go of it. Owen gave him an annoyed look, and was about to ask him what the bloody hell he thought he was playing at, when the other man leaned into the car and murmured, "I've just been told that there is an alert out for all Torchwood personnel sir, and that I am to escort you to the UNIT field headquarters."

Owen leaned away from the other man's face, attempting to put some room between the point where his nose ended and Owen's cheek began, the man leaned closer. Owen's head was now rammed up hard against the head restraint.

"No worries sir," the policeman hissed, conspiratorially, "I'll have you there in a jiffy," he backed out of the car window, then added, "Just wait while I pull round you, if you don't mind, sir," he smiled briefly at Owen, then added, "Best if we keep in close convoy if it's at speed," then headed back to his car.

Owen sighed, and pulled on the seatbelt, waiting as the police car pulled out, then back into the lay by in front of him, the policeman waved cheerily at him through the back window of his car.

Owen grimaced back, leaned forwards and turned the engine back on, as he did so a strange strangulated wail escaped from the car in front. Owen jumped and stared at it,horrified, "Oh bloody hell...NO!" his head turned slowly from side to side in disbelief.

"Tell me you aren't going to do next, what I think your going..." Owen never got a chance to finish what he was saying, the police car suddenly lit up like a rather strangely shaped Christmas tree, then began to strobe theatrically.

Owen slid lower in his seat, "Oh!Shit," he murmured, leaning over and pulling open the glove compartment, he grabbed a pair of sunglasses, put them on, then turned up the collar of his jacket.

Slipping his car into gear, it then crawled reluctantly after the police car as it bounced its way noisily back onto the roadway.

"I never though I would say this, but I really, REALLY, wish I'd gone paint balling," Owen murmured to himself, silently praying that no one would recognise him, before they got to wherever it was they were heading for.


	8. Chapter 8

Brigadier Alistair MacNab, stood on the only piece of tarmac he could find, that didn't have a military vehicle parked on it. He sighed and glanced longingly back towards the entrance of the Hunting Stag Hotel and Bar. The landlord of this picturesque establishment had initially greeted him with enthusiasm- until the collection of armoured personnel carriers, and Jeeps had given way to one very large and _extremely_ noisy tank.

Obviously unaware that the Brigadier's immediate superior had a desperate compulsion to prove that tanks were extremely useful vehicles, and therefore should be deployed at any, and every opportunity, the poor man had watched innocently, as something lumbered down the country lane towards them.

It wasn't until it suddenly took a right turn towards the car park, demolished several feet of hedge and then a rather decorative selection of flower filled tubs ( that his wife seemed to be psychotically enamoured of), that things began to turn nasty.

The Brigadier's first impressions of the landlord's wife had been extremely positive-until the arrival of the tank. He rubbed his clean-shaven chin nervously at the memory, his blue eyes closing to block out the memory of her reaction. Her high- pitched scream still made him shudder.

Mr. Barnes had made several, not very positive comments, regarding the British Army in general and the Brigadier in particular. Leaving him with the distinct impression, that he would** not** be welcomed within the walls of the Hunting Stag, any time soon.

Putting a consoling arm around his wife's shoulder, he had then led her back inside, promising the combined consolation of a double vodka, and the possibility of suing someone-when he managed to figure out who he should send an opening salvo in the direction of.

Glancing towards the road, the Brigadier groaned quietly to himself, he could hear something approaching noisily. The only positive thing was, that it didn't sound even remotely like another tank!

The police patrol car hove into view, its light bar flashing enthusiastically (if somewhat out of synchronisation), followed at a respectable distance, by a rather nice, sporty looking coupe.

The Brigadier straightened his jacket, and then stepped quickly to the left, to avoid the leading car, as it suddenly kangaroo hopped towards him before stopping, it's driver winced and mouthed his apologies.

Marching rapidly towards the coupe, in an attempt to avoid the idiot driving the police car, he noticed a huddled figure decked out in sun glasses, collar pulled up around his ears, peering over the steering wheel at him.

The policeman suddenly remembered he hadn't turned off the siren, and treated the Brigadier to his patrol car's party piece. The coupe driver slid down even lower in his seat.

Owen Harper groaned as the car in front repeated its high- pitched whine, closely followed by what could only be described as a hiccup, then faded into silence. His ears still replaying the sound over and over, he peered at the approaching soldier and sighed. Despite the sunglasses, he still had coloured spots dancing in front of his eyes. He attempted to concentrate on the soldier's face, but the flashing splodges of colour, made it impossible.

Seeing the policeman getting out of his car, and with a growing conviction that **he** was his chosen target, Owen pushed open the door and got out, slammed it shut and then moved rapidly towards the Brigadier.

"Doctor Owen Harper-Torchwood. I believe your looking for me?" He announced, quickly offering his hand.

"Brigadier MacNab, glad to meet you, sir," he said, shaking Owen's hand enthusiastically, and moving away from the car.

Owen eyed the policeman warily, "Perhaps there's somewhere private we could discuss things?" He murmured, then noticed the pub and brightened up, "How about..."

The Brigadier winced, " I think perhaps the command unit," he mumbled, shepherding Owen quickly between two parked Jeeps.

Owen stared at the large shiny vision that loomed up in front of him, "Very Knight Rider!" He murmured.

The Brigadier grinned, "Have to move with the times, doctor Harper, reflect a confident public image."

Owen sighed and nodded, "Pity the poor sod who had to manoeuvre that thing in here," he said glancing at the Brigadier, who nodded in agreement- then Owen spotted the tank. "Bloody hell! Some kind of invasion?" He queried in alarm.

The Brigadier winced, and shook his head, making it clear that its arrival had not been his idea.

Owen grinned, "There's always one," he said, commiserating with the other man.

"Don't I know it!" he groaned, "You should have seen what he deployed it for last time!"

Noticing his chief medical officer approaching them, he smiled. "Doctor Harper, this is our resident medic, doctor Allen, " he announced waving his hand towards Jennifer, who nodded and tried to look neutral.

Owen smirked, then coughed in an attempt to cover it up, blinked in her direction and made an effort to look like he was trying to remember something.

"Doctor... Allen?" He paused, pursed his lips and leaned towards her, "I think our paths may have crossed somewhere before?" he said vaguely.

Jen smiled warily and shrugged.

Glancing from one to the other, the Brigadier suddenly smiled and attempted to look like he hadn't noticed anything strange, in the way they were reacting to each other. "Fine," he said, more for something to say than anything else, "Doctor Harper?"

Owen blinked innocently back at him, and raised his eyebrows. The Brigadier continued with, "We are trying to trace the rest of Torchwood, but so far we have had little luck," he looked hopefully at Owen, who said nothing.

Jen smiled, and murmured, "I really should get back to the lab," she looked pointedly at Owen, who nodded dumbly back at her. "Perhaps Doctor Harper could join me later?" Before he had the chance to reply she walked quickly away, thankful to be able to escape so easily.

"Have you any way of contacting them?" the Brigadier enquired.

Owen suddenly remembered the messages from Tosh that had arrived the previous night. "I think I can probably do better than that," he mumbled, rummaging thorough his pockets. "I can tell you exactly where they are, well more or less," finally conceding that his mobile wasn't there, he murmured, "Erm, think I must have left it behind," glancing back towards his car, and then spotting the policeman still hovering. "Oh shit!" He murmured under his breath.

It was a this point that the army came to the rescue of Owen Harper for the first time (and probably not the last). The Brigadier smiled, waved over two young soldiers, who were lurking just within earshot in case they were needed. He murmured something, and indicated the police officer, they glanced towards him, then nodded.

Owen watched with curiosity, as the two soldiers marched right up to the policeman, and began to discuss something with him. Clearly not too keen on what was said, the policeman finally shrugged, and admitted defeat, got back into his car and slowly manoeuvred it, so it was facing the other direction, then reluctantly made his way back towards the entrance and the out onto the road.

"Nothing like diplomacy," the Brigadier murmured cheerfully.

Owen laughed, "No, nothing like," he glanced over at the other man and smirked, he didn't usually get on with military types, but he rather liked this one's attitude.

They walked over to Owen's car, and he retrieved his mobile, opened up the text message and handed it over to the Brigadier, who nodded and indicated to a nearby soldier, that his presence was required.

"Make a note of that," he ordered, "Then get transport and go and bring them here."

Saluting smartly, the other man memorised the map reference and then turned and marched a few steps, before braking into a run, as he headed for one of the Jeeps, it's driver already sitting behind the wheel waiting for him.

Satisfied that everything was in hand, the Brigadier nodded briefly to Owen. "You'll find Doctor Allen in the medical facility," he waved his hand vaguely towards the left, "I'm sure she would appreciate your help as soon as possible."

Owen smiled to himself, and wandered off in the direction indicated, this weekend was looking up!

**. . . .**

Jack and Toshiko arrived back at the SUV, Toshiko got into the back and began activating equipment and requesting information.

Jack paused and sighed, looked like the nice, quiet weekend, was disintegrating rapidly! Going round to the back he opened up the boot and put in the carrier bag of samples Ianto had collected. As he walked back towards the driver's door he glanced at the other cars, that were still standing, exactly as they had been when they had first arrived.

Jack shrugged, no harm in being sure, "Tosh, can you check on a couple cars for me? "

Toshiko nodded, "Hang on a minute," she brought up a site, then logged in for access."Okay, registration numbers?"

Jack moved slightly, then read out the numbers of first one car and then the other.

"Nope, neither of them are on the stolen list," she paused, following a link through, "But there is a missing person report on the owner of one of them... actually it links to both cars, both registered owners were supposed to be meeting last week and haven't been seen since."

Jack blinked, got in quickly behind the wheel and fired up the engine. "I really don't like the sound of that, and after what happened to Gwen..." his voice trailed off.

Toshiko blinked, "You don't think it's connected?" she said, alarmed. "One of those things might have...?" she stared nervously out of the side window.

"No idea, but I think we need to get Ianto and Gwen, and then try and find out where the hell Owen's got to," he said, putting the SUV into gear and slipping the handbrake. "Right now, all I want to see is wide open concrete!" He gunned the engine and headed down the country lane as fast as he could.

"You and me both," murmured Tosh, glancing at the two abandoned cars, as they moved rapidly past them.

Jack had never been so pleased to see an open road in his life! It wasn't until the SUV finally bounced off the rough track, that Jack allowed himself to relax, as he accelerated towards the pick up point for the others.

An army Jeep passed them, going the opposite direction, the passenger stared at them, then yelled.

Jack glanced in his wing mirror, he saw the Jeep suddenly perform a rapid U turn and follow them.

"Interesting," he murmured, "It looks like someone might be looking for us."

Toshiko turned, glancing towards the back, but it was almost impossible to see out, "Really?" she asked, trying to get an angle on the wing mirror on her side of the SUV, so she could get a view of what was happening behind them.

The Jeep soon caught them up, headlights flashing to get their attention.

"Yep, were definitely wanted," he confirmed glancing in his wing mirror. Flicking the indicator, he pulled towards the kerb, and wound his window down.

The Jeep swerved around them, and stopped, the passenger got out and walked back. "Torchwood?" he enquired, glancing at the name on the wing as he passed it.

Jack waited until he reached the window, "Torchwood. What's going on?" He asked.

The man merely nodded. "If you could follow us, please?" he asked, "The Brigadier would like to see you."

Jack nodded, he knew only too well that there was little point in trying again for information, it looked like it would have to wait until they reached journey's end. "Fine, we have to pick up two personnel first, they're not far from here."

"Man and a young, dark haired woman?" he asked. Jack nodded.

"We passed them on the way up, no problem, then well take you to H.Q.."

The soldier moved away from the SUV. Jack manoeuvred back out into the road, "Looks like something's going on," he said, glancing in his mirror and seeing the Jeep pull out and follow them.

Toshiko sat nervously watching for the first view of Ianto and Gwen, and sighed with relief when she spotted Ianto stand up and turn towards the sound of the engine. Gwen struggled to her feet and forced a smile, she still felt giddy, and the smell left behind by the snail made her feel sick.

Realising that they would need more room, Tosh closed down the equipment, and waited as it automatically folded up and packed its self neatly out of sight.

Ianto helped Gwen round to the other passenger door, Jack leaned out and released the lock, and Ianto gently pushed her into the seat and slammed the door shut then ran back round to the other side and got into the front passenger seat. Pulling on the seatbelt he glanced over at Jack, "Looks like we have a convoy," he murmured.

Jack nodded, then leaned out of the window and waved the jeep through, "They're taking us somewhere or other apparently," he murmured, waiting for the Jeep to get in front of them and then pulling out behind them.

Glancing in the mirror he took a quick look at Gwen, "You okay?" he asked, Gwen nodded vaguely, the movement was making her feel queasy.

"Wherever they're taking us there should be some sort of medic, the army never travels without one, I'll get them to check you over."

"I'm fine, just need to get rid of this damned smell," Gwen shivered, and sniffed at her hand.

"Well they'll probably have showers as well, so just hang in there and you'll be fine," Jack said, attempting to reassure her, then mirrored the other vehicle's movements, as it indicated and crossed to the other side of the road, turning off to the left. Jack noticed assorted flower tubs that seemed to have been hurled into a hedge and then squashed flat.

Army vehicles filled the car park, the Jeep pulled to one side, the driver then waved him through.

"Nice Pub!" he commented and grinned, driving between various vehicles.

Ianto stared at the tank "Bloody Hell! " he peered back towards it as they drove past, Jack finally pulling up beside what had to be the main command centre.

"We haven't been invaded while we were away have we?" Ianto murmured still staring towards the tank.

Jack released his seat belt and pushed open the door. "Doubt it... not even we could manage that, right Tosh?" he said grinning towards Toshiko, she laughed, "No. course not!" Ianto didn't look entirely convinced.

"Come on team, time to meet the natives," he said cheerfully, and climbed out. Slamming the door behind him, he marched towards the first person he saw, "Captain Jack Harkness- Torchwood, I believe you've been looking for us."

A familiar voice came from the direction of the command vehicle steps. "About bloody time, I've been flogging my guts out here for ages, I thought you were never going to get here. You wouldn't believe what they've got."

Jack turned, and smirked back at Owen, "Oh? Well, I think I might have something in the boot that you'll be very interested in."

Owen shook his head, "Somehow I doubt it- unless you've managed to squash seven dead bodies in there."

Jack stared back, his face now deadly serious, "Any idea what killed them?" he demanded.

Owen shrugged, "Not the bloody foggiest, they seem to have suffocated, but I have no idea how."

Jack glanced over at Ianto, and then at Gwen, who was leaning against the side of the SUV, he nodded to Ianto, who went and collected the sample bags from the boot, then handed them over to Owen, who peered inside cautiously.

"What the hell is that?" he nudged the upturned shell, then looked back at Jack.

"The remains of a giant snail, believe it or not," he said, looking towards Gwen, "We just about got to her in time."

Owen stared back at Jack, then over to Gwen, seconds later he was by her side, the carrier bag discarded.

Ianto sighed, and picked it up, Owen never noticed his look of disapproval, he was too busy checking Gwen was alright.

The Brigadier came down the steps to greet them, Jack introduced himself and the others, then the two moved to one side, deep in conversation.


	9. Chapter 9

Finally satisfied that Gwen wasn't likely to suffer any ill effects from her meeting with the snail, Owen passed her as fit, and turned his attention back to the bag of samples, that Ianto was now clutching.

Owen took hold of the bag, but Ianto refused to let go of it. "I take it you're not planning on dumping it somewhere else?" he enquired archly.

"Yeah, well, last time I looked, a living human has a higher priority than a bag of assorted bits of snail," Owen glared back at him, attempting yet again to get the bag back.

Ianto pursed his lips, "So exactly what are you planning on doing with it?" he asked, suspiciously.

"I know what I'd like to bloody well do with it... but Jack probably wouldn't like it, and you sure as hell wouldn't," he growled, wrenched the bag out of his hands and marched off towards the lab.

Ianto blinked vaguely after him, sniffed, and glanced over towards Jack, who was deep in conversation with the Brigadier. A bored expression slowly spread across his face, he looked towards Gwen, who was standing chatting to Toshiko.

Brushing off the front of his coat, he then straightened the hood. It was time **someone **organised somewhere for them to sleep. He was willing to bet that Owen hadn't made any kind of arrangements either.

Taking a final look around him, and deciding that the others were far too preoccupied with whatever they were doing to be of any help, he walked off towards the hotel. He had almost reached the doorway when Jack caught up with him.

"Coming for a drink?" he enquired cheerfully.

Ianto blinked slowly, "Actually, I was going to try and sort out sleeping arrangements-unless you want me to go back and get the tents?" he asked pointedly, raising his eyebrows.

"Damn it, I knew there was something I forgot," Jack murmured, then smiled back at him, "Great idea," he grinned, slapping him on the back, "Join me in the bar when it's all sorted out," he added, taking a detour to follow the sign pointing the way towards the public bar.

Ianto sighed, then headed for the hotel reception desk.

**. . . .**

Perching on the bar stool, Jack peering towards the optics, the barman moved behind the counter, then walked towards him smiling, "Yes sir, what would you like?"

Jack's gaze wondered away from the optics, and towards the neat line of pump handles, each one sporting its own badge, he shrugged, "What would you recommend?" He asked, peering at the names (none of which seemed familiar).

Picking up a bar towel, and automatically wiping the counter, he glanced at Jack, then said, "Bitter rather than lager?"

Now that was something of a loaded question! Jack nodded vaguely, and smiled, "I'm in your capable hands," he announced, just in time to be overheard by Ianto, who pressed his lips together and said nothing.

"Make that two," he added, glancing at Ianto, who sat down next to him, then eyed the glass suspiciously as it was put in front of him. "Did you manage to book anything?" He asked as Ianto took a tentative slip from the glass.

"Mm, two rooms," he murmured, putting the glass back onto the bar counter and watching, as the foam residue from the head slid slowly back down into his drink.

Jack blinked at him, puzzled, "In case you've forgotten there are five of us," he raised his eyebrows and waited.

Ianto shrugged, "I am aware of that, but they are pretty full at the moment, if you hadn't noticed the car park's a bit on the busy side."

Jack sighed, sounded like Ianto was in one of his super efficiency moods, which meant he was going to be impossible to live with for a least the next few hours. He took a drink of his beer, "Not bad!" he said, smiling towards the barman

The barman nodded, "House favourite that one is, even the snails can't resist it," he laughed, "Your staying with us then?"

Taking another drink, Jack nodded, and licked the foam from his lips, "Yep, we're with..." He nodded out of the window towards the car park.

"Ah right... you'd be the experts they were waiting for then?" he enquired, offering his hand, "Names Barry Barnes, I own this place."

Nodding, Jack shook his hand, "Pleased to meet you Barry, I'm Jack Harkness, and this..." he indicated Ianto, "... is Ianto Jones." The sound of familiar voices made him look towards the door, "And these two lovely ladies are Gwen Cooper and Toshiko Sato. There is one other, I'm sure he'll turn up before much longer," Jack smiled at him.

Barry blinked, "Short, bad tempered bloke, swears a lot?" he enquired.

Jack smirked, "Yep, that would be Owen... what's your poison ladies?" he asked, glancing around, looking for a table that would provide a little more privacy than they currently had.

Eventually settling down in a corner cubicle, drinks in front of them, Jack glanced around at his team, well most of them- as usual Owen was no where to be seen. "I have this vague idea that somewhere along the line Torchwood used to have a doctor," Jack murmured.

Ianto sniffed, disparagingly, "Probably chasing that army medic I saw him with just."

Gwen and Toshiko both stared back at him, Gwen instantly realising she shouldn't be reacting like that and looked away quickly, Toshiko, pursed her lips and looked down. Jack looked at the two of them and groaned.

The familiar sound of Owen's voice made Tosh stand briefly to look over the top of the cubicle, "He's here," she announced, and then sat straight back down again and concentrated on her drink.

Jack shrugged, then stood up, if Tosh wasn't going to try and get his attention it looked like he was going to have to. Owen was deep in conversation with Barry, then he suddenly leaned over the bar's counter and stared at the back of the pumps.

"Owen?" he called out, then sighed, "**Owen**!" he repeated more loudly.

Owen twisted his body sideways, still leaning across the bar, he waved a hand vaguely towards Jack, "Yeah, right, with you in a minute," he yelled back, then continued to talk to Barry, who was clearly warming towards his subject, pointing out of the window and miming various shapes with his hands.

Jack shook his head and sat down again, "I don't know why I bother," he grumbled, picking up his drink.

"Join the club," mumbled Ianto, straightening the coaster next to him.

Toshiko glared over at him, and was about to say something when Owen finally joined them. Dragging a chair across from the table opposite, he took a drink from his glass, plonked it on the table then sat down.

Ianto glared at him, leaned across and shoved a spare beer mat under his glass.

Owen gave him a bored look, "God, you remind me of my mother!" he murmured

"Neat and tidy woman is she?" Ianto enquired.

"Not really, she just had this weird, coaster fetish," Owen responded, peering at him from under hooded eyelids.

Ianto bristled, "There's nothing wrong with using coasters."

"Never said there was," Owen, sniffed and took another drink, "But you didn't see what she used to put them under."

Ianto's eyes narrowed, he pursed his lips, "I'm sure..."

Jack interrupted him quickly, "Could we drop the coasters for now? **Thank you**."

Ianto and Owen turned towards Jack, both clearly ready and more than willing to continue.

Jack held up his hand to quieten them, "I said, _thank you_," he glanced from one to the other, they glared at each other and returned to their respective drinks.

"You manage to finish testing those samples?" Jack enquired, looking at Owen expectantly.

Owen nodded, then grimaced, "Not a great deal of help, to be honest, although, wherever it came from it wasn't from around here... as in Earth."

"Could it have started life here and then been... removed?" Jack asked.

Owen shrugged, "More than likely, but whoever, or what ever did it, they did one hell of a job ! They managed to splice the DNA so it was still a snail, all be it a bloody big one, and with a few _very _interesting bolted on accessories."

Jack nodded, it agreed with what he had been thinking, "What about vulnerabilities?"

"Well, " he paused, "They don't seem to have tampered too much with the basics, which should mean that thanks to Barry, there may be a way of killing it-unfortunately we have to find it first, which will be the tricky part."

"It's a giant snail! Not exactly easy to miss!" commented Jack, smiling over at Ianto.

"Yeah, well, at the last count, total number of giant snail reports stood at... Nil!" Owen gave Jack a bored look, then said, "Which suggests that they aren't exactly linking arms and tap dancing down the middle of the road, they're sticking to isolated areas, which is probably what they were designed to do."

Toshiko stared at him in alarm,"What do you mean, designed to do?"

"Well, lets face it, someone has gone to an awful lot of trouble, and what they've ended up with is a very effective killing machine. Not only that it's quiet and it could quite easily pick off any perimeter guard. Clever concept, it meanders up to its target, target stares, can't believe what it's seeing, it fires a dart that immediately knocks out the target, who falls over backwards, then it just rolls over their face, airtight seal triggers, and as long as it's not disturbed," he glanced at Jack, "Neatly dispatched in a couple of minutes, with no trace of how and not only that," Owen paused and took a drink, "That shell is pretty well bullet proof, and the Brigadier isn't too sure how well a flame thrower would do against it either- as it's the only one we've got I didn't fancy letting him have a go to see."

"Well, from what the Brigadier told me, they suspect that it, or they, may have been at work for the best part of a week. There have been attempts to contact everyone in isolated areas just in case, but they haven't had a lot of success," Jack shrugged."We can only hope that they've stuck to this area, and not headed towards any of the farms."

Gwen shivered, then grimaced, "I really do need to get a shower!"

Ianto smiled and pulled two keys from his pocket, then handed one to Gwen, "I'm afraid you and Tosh are going to have to share," he said apologetically,"But it is a twin room ."

Gwen grinned and took the key, "Oh brilliant, thanks Ianto!" she took the key and stood up, "You coming Tosh?"

Toshiko smiled, "Definitely, that shower block wasn't exactly luxurious!"

Ianto tangled the other key, "And that leaves us three together in the other one."

Owen stared at the large pink heart shaped key fob and groaned, "Tell me I'm wrong, and that _isn't _the key to what I _think_ its the key to," he mumbled.

"Well it was the only room they had left, and it's big enough for three, they said they could put an extra bed in," Ianto said, smirking, as he let the key fob swing, gently, in front of Owen's nose.

Standing up, still transfixed by the heart, he shook his head, "If it's all the same to you... I'll make my own arrangements thanks."

"Please yourself," Ianto murmured, smiling towards Jack, "I take it you have no objections?"

"Not a one," he responded immediately,"Sounds wonderful."

Jack was just about to make a comment about Owen's sleeping arrangements, when his mobile rang.

"Brigadier!" he paused listening, "Yeah, no problem, we'll follow you up there, just give us five minutes," he cancelled the call, then looked apologetically over at Gwen, "Sorry, afraid that shower of yours is going to have to wait, looks like the body count just went up."


	10. Chapter 10

The SUV followed behind the army Jeep as it wound its way through the narrow country lanes. Toshiko was busy accessing Owen's data and inputting into one of her programmes.

Gwen was next to her, sitting on Owen's knee, eyes closed trying to block out the sound of his voice complaining endlessly about it.

Jack sighed, "I take it your not terribly comfortable, Owen?" he asked, not really interested in any response he was likely to get.

"What the hell gave you that idea?" Owen grumbled back, trying to get Gwen to alter her position for the umpteen time. "Look darlin' I know its academic to you, but will you shift your bloody arse? "

Gwen puffed, and stayed where she was, "Oh, stop complaining, will you? anyone would think I'm heavy or something!"

"It's not your bloody weight I'm bothered about, it's that sodding button sticking in my crotch," he growled, attempting to shift her position yet again.

The Jeep they were following pulled in, and parked in front of an ambulance.

Jack turned in his seat, "Okay, Owen, we'll drop you off here, we'll carry on and see if we can trace where this one came from, we'll come back and pick you up, unless you want to hitch a lift back with the army?"

Owen pushed open the door and waited for Gwen to move, "Yeah, might just do that," he said, before getting out, and waiting as the door closed and they drove off.

Hitching his bag over his shoulder he made his way towards the pavement. A soldier turned towards him, and nodded, his eyes empty of any expression, then he looked quickly away. Owen looked at him, puzzled, then glanced over the low privet hedge into the neat, flower edged garden.

A medic stood up, pushed the hair away from his face and then closed his eyes. Owen tried to see the body but he was blocked by the hedge, as he moved closer to the gate his view cleared, and he saw the body of a young boy of about five years old, stretched out on the grass as if he was sleeping.

Owen blinked, then scanned the rest of the area, he saw two adults, another boy perhaps younger than the first, a few yards away from them, lying on a car rug, a baby.

"Oh, jesus, no!" he murmured. If he had any doubts, the expression on all the faces of those already there and trying to do their jobs, confirmed the facts.

Owen wandered into the garden, automatically moving from body to body, making all the necessary checks, knowing there was nothing he could do.

"Doctor Harper," he murmured, approaching the Medic,"Anything you want me to do?"

The man shook his head, clearly still stunned by what they had found, "Harper? You Torchwood?"

Owen nodded, "Yeah, if you can get them back to base for me?" he asked quietly, the man acknowledged him, then moved away.

Walking back the way he had come, he found himself back on the pavement, suddenly weary, he sat down on the curb, slouching over.

Moments later the SUV arrive, and pulled in to the side of the road.

Jack was busy talking to Toshiko and Ianto, so Gwen got out, for a second she didn't recognise Owen, she stared, he looked up at her.

Gwen blinked nervously, then glanced towards the garden, "Bad is it?" she asked.

Owen looked away from her and nodded. She waited but when he said nothing she moved as if to go and look for herself.

"I wouldn't if I were you," he mumbled.

She stopped and stared at him, "I'm used to this type of thing-remember?"

"Trust me, no one gets used to that!" he said quietly.

At that moment they started moving the stretchers into the ambulance, Gwen watched, then as the fourth one passed, she looked down at Owen, "Oh, my God! How many are there?"

Owen closed his eyes briefly, voice cracking he said, "There's just one more."

Gwen looked towards the medic, who was following the others carrying a car rug, wrapped around something small and still. Puzzled she looked down at Owen.

Owen glanced up at the medic, they acknowledged each other silently, then he carried the bundle into the back of the ambulance and the door slammed behind him. Staring vacantly at the closed door, Owen mumbled, "Couldn't have been more that ten weeks old."

Gwen gulped and closed her eyes.

Jack was now out of the SUV, having watched the procession to the ambulance, "Owen?" he said quietly.

Suddenly, Owen was on his feet, "I'm travelling back with them, I'll see you later," and trotted towards the army vehicles.

Gwen moved as if she was going to follow him, but Jack caught her arm, stopping her, "We have work to do. Tosh, those scanners calibrated yet?" he asked, turning back.

Toshiko was getting out of the SUV, and nodded, "Yes, it should tell us how many individuals were dealing with, and some idea where they were heading when they left." She began handing out small oblong scanners, "Move them as slowly and evenly as you can, they should give you a reasonably instant reading."

Splitting up, they each moved off towards various parts of the garden. "Anything?" Jack asked, his eyes fixed on the small screen, the others shook their heads, replying in the negative. Not hearing Gwen respond he looked towards her, she was standing looking out towards one of the distant roads,watching as the small convoy of army trucks and ambulances slowly make its way towards the main road.

"Gwen?" Jack asked.

She turned reluctantly towards him, clearly still distracted.

"Anything?" he enquired, moving towards her.

"Erm, no. Sorry... nothing, " she turned away, staring at the hedge that ran the length of the garden.

"You alright?" he asked quietly, she looked up at him and nodded vaguely, then blinked and looked down at the scanner. It gave out a high pitched howl and a row of lights began to flash.

Toshiko turned quickly and sprinted towards Gwen, "It's found something," she announced, grabbing the scanner from her hand and pressing a button on the side of it. The wailing stopped and a gentle steady humming took its place, a blue light began to blink rapidly, Tosh smiled.

"That's it, it's locked on, we can track it from anywhere now," she grinned at Gwen, "Wherever it goes now, we can find it."

**. . . .**

Owen got out of the front of the ambulance before it had stopped rolling, he heard the doors open, and the sound of people unloading, but he turned the other way, he knew he should be there, but for some reason he just didn't want to deal with anything.

Somehow he ended up standing next to his car, looking down at it. It was just a piece of metal, granted it was an expensive one, but if you had asked him this morning, he would have said he would have killed anyone who put as much as a scratch on it. Now? now it didn't seem to matter any more.

"You okay?" a voice asked.

He turned. Jen smiled quietly at him, then gently pulled him into a hug, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Owen blinked rapidly, his hands out to one side as if he didn't want to touch her, she nudged his neck and he gulped, then grabbed hold of her as if his life depended on it.

Pulling back slightly, he gave her a slightly forced, lopsided grin,"Sorry, just one of those things."

She nodded, "I know, some things you just never get used to," she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and pulled away from him.

Owen sighed, "Would you care to accompany me to the lab Miss?" he enquired, formally offering his arm.

"Why thank you sir, I'd be honoured!" she slipped her arm through his, and they walked off towards the medical trailer.

**. . . .**

Toshiko sat in the SUV, busily typing and adjusting, finally satisfied she nodded and leaned back relaxing against the head rest.

"I can track it now- no problem," she smiled through the open door at Jack, who look relieved and nodded back.

"Great! So where to?" he asked, getting behind the wheel, and glancing at Ianto as he moved around to the passenger side.

Toshiko licked her lips, watching as the navigation patched in and the display updated, "Oh!" she stared, then checked it again.

Gwen slammed the door, and glanced across at the display, "Your kidding me?" she murmured.

"Nothing coming through yet," Jack announced, "Have you sent the update?" he peered at his display and sighed.

"Should be with you any time now," Toshiko murmured, then glanced across at Gwen and winced.

"Oh- kay," Jack drawled. "What!" he stared at the screen, pointed at it and partly turned back towards her,"This is right?" he queried.

"'fraid so," Tosh confirmed

Curiosity getting the better of him, Ianto leaned across, trying to get a view of the display, "Ah!" he murmured, "Soo, looks like there's not a lot of chance, of getting our tents back in one piece, then?" he sighed, loudly.

"At a rough guess...No!" Jack said, pulling on his seat belt, and turning the ignition key, then gunned the engine and drove off quickly, the others still fastening their seat belts.


	11. Chapter 11

The Brigadier sat bolt upright at the head of the conference table, hat placed beside is right hand. Jack slouched in a leather office chair, further down the table, slowly swinging from side to side, occasionally glancing towards the doorway. Toshiko had her laptop open and ready. Gwen stared vacantly at the table. The muffled sound of a familiar voice, made her look in the same direction as Jack, the door opened and Owen appeared, closely followed by Jen- who was carrying several folders.

Smiling a welcome, the Brigadier stood and indicated two empty chairs, then returned to his seat, his eyes fixed on Owen, clearly expecting answers.

Owen sat down quietly, leaning back in the chair, he didn't look at any of the others, just bit his lip and waited. Jen put the folders down on the table in front of her and glanced over at him, the two exchanged a brief glance and then looked away.

Toshiko smiled across at the Brigadier, realising that she was ready, he nodded towards her, "Perhaps you would like to start us off?" he enquired. Tosh nodded eagerly.

"From the tests that Owen did on the victims earlier, and from the readings taken at the cottage, it looks like there is little doubt that we are dealing with multiple entities," she paused, then added, "It also looks like the ones who attacked the family at the cottage headed back to base, and it seems that base could well be where we were camping at the paint balling centre."

Ianto blinked,"Well I did hear something moving around when you and Gwen were out...investigating," he murmured, deliberately avoiding looking at Jack.

Owen looked across at Gwen, suddenly interested, a faint smirk tweaking the corner of his mouth. Noticing the look, Gwen glared back at him, "We were checking out the equipment."

Owen nodded,"Yeah, 'course you were," he murmured, the smirk widening, he looked over at Ianto and raised his eyebrows, "Where was Tosh, when all this was going on then?" he enquired, clearly knowing full well, what the likely answer to that was going to be.

Ianto shuffled in his chair and ignored him, Tosh glared briefly at Owen, annoyed at being interrupted.

The Brigadier glanced from one to the other, curiously, then nodded at Toshiko. "Thank you...Doctor Harper?" he looked towards Owen, enquiringly.

Owen took a breath, his brief attack on Ianto forgotten.

Leaning forward, elbows on the table, hands clasped in front of his face, he started his report.

"From the position of the bodies, I would have to say that there must have been at least three... assailants, the bodies of both parents were close together, and some distance from the children- which suggests that they were attacked **before **they had a chance to move towards them to protect them. For the same reason, the two older children must have been attacked before they could get to their parents. However, they could possibly have been darted by one individual- because of their size and age it would have needed less hits to bring them down. I don't know _why_ they viewed the baby as a threat," he paused, pressing his hands against his lips, "It wouldn't have made any kind of move towards them."He took another breath, "I can only presume that because the baby was already on it's back, and perhaps waving it's arms, that was enough to draw attention to it's self, so..." He struggled towards the end of his report, "... so it was responded to as a threat and... I'm still waiting for the test results but I don't think that it was darted like the others were." He stopped closing his eyes for a split second, then leaning back in his chair.

"Doctor Allen has the full results on everything else," he nodded towards Jen, without really looking at her, then stared down vacantly.

Jen opened the top folder and cleared her throat, "As far as we can tell its definitely some kind of snail hybrid. We are presuming because of that, that whatever will kill one will kill the other. The only problem we have is that it isn't possible to test the theory first, so we can only make an educated guess." she paused and glanced up at the Brigadier.

"It looks like the best thing to use against them, that is likely to cause least environmental problems, is vinegar."

The Brigadier stared at her,"Vinegar! What, you mean the same stuff you put on your chips?" He queried.

Jen nodded, "That's the one, the other is salt, but large amounts of that can cause problems-although as a last resort..."

Jack rubbed his hands together, clearly considering the options, "Okay, so we have a reasonable idea what to hit them with, question is how do we get them out in the open first?"

"Well, apparently the normal variety are nocturnal and go for damp conditions, but the one that attacked Gwen was out in daylight, or at least early morning, so maybe that's not as important to them." Owen mused.

Ianto pursed his lips, "Well the ground was fairly damp, but the size of it probably meant that it didn't make a lot of difference," he glanced towards Gwen, "How fast did it move?" he enquired quietly.

Gwen grimaced, "A lot faster than I thought it would," she murmured,"The ground was pretty rough but it didn't seem to have any problems with it."

The Brigadier sighed, relaxing back in his chair, he looked towards Jack, "Can't say I like the idea of getting the damned things moving at night, unless we can be sure exactly where each individual is?" he raised his eyebrows enquiringly, "Can we track that accurately?"

Jack shrugged, then looked at Toshiko, "Dunno, can we?" he asked her.

Tosh screwed up her nose, started to say something, then stopped and thought for a second, "Honestly? I'm really not sure, I had to make certain assumptions in order for the tracker to pick up anything at all, so if I'm wrong..." she pursed her lips and them grimaced.

Jack looked worried, "We have to be able to track them once they start to move, if we can't," he paused, and his eyes widened, "If we can't, it could get very messy, very quickly!"

"Well, Barry reckoned that the smell of the yeast attracted them, and then they just drowned in the beer. Trouble is, the size of that bloody thing, it's going to need a hell ova sight more that a teaspoon full to finish it off," Owen murmured, looking over at Jack.

"Well, I suppose that brings us back to the vinegar- what do you do, spray it at it?" Jack enquired.

Jen nodded, "Easiest way apparently, Barry uses a toy water pistol."

The Brigadier sighed and stood up, picking up his hat then putting it onto his head and adjusting it, "Unfortunately the British Army isn't routinely kitted out with water pistols!"

Ianto looked up at the Brigadier, "How about a water canon?" he asked.

The Brigadier shook his head slowly, "No, but," he paused for a second, "I know a man who has," he announced marching towards the door, "And as an army marches on its stomach, I have a source for the vinegar as well," he stopped and turned, "If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, ladies," he smiled at Toshiko, touching the peek of his cap as he did so. "I have a few phone calls to make," turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Jack lounged back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and grinned, "Well looks like were finally getting this show on the road," he looked over at Toshiko, "We really need to make sure that tracker will do what we hope it will," he gave her an apologetic look.

Toshiko stood up, closing up her laptop and then tucking in under her arm, "I'll go and piggyback this onto their system, the extra power should speed things up a bit, give me half an hour," she said, leaving the a room.

"Well we have some unfinished business," Owen stood up and looked at Jen, who smirked and collected her folders together.

"We do indeed," she murmured, standing up and heading for the door, Owen close behind her.

Jack looked around at the remainder of his team, "Well,that just leave us three," he said smiling.

"You two," corrected Gwen, "I'm going to get that shower before its too late," she announced, and left Jack and Ianto sitting in silence staring at each other.

Ianto blinked vaguely, then glanced at his watch, "Coffee?" He enquired

"Great idea!" he said enthusiastically, the added, "What with?"

"Room has coffee making facilities," he said and smiled.

Jack grinned back, "Really? How convenient!"

"So... shall we?" Ianto asked, scraping his chair back and standing up.

"Why not?" Jack laughed, and was on his feet and by the door in seconds.

**. . . .**

Toshiko sat quietly watching the screen of her laptop as it updated and slowly began to display data, she glanced sideways at Jack, who was crouched beside her, waiting.

"I'm piggy backed onto their system, even so there will still be a few seconds delay in updating any movement, but it's as good as it's going to get," she said giving Jack an apologetic look, "So I'm going to have to stay here and relay information through the comm,"

Jack sighed, and stood up, "Let's hope we get lucky and we can attack while they're sluggish," he smirked, "No pun intended." tapping his ear he enquired, "Have you seen Ianto?"

"Yes, he came and delivered that," she said, nodding towards the earpiece, sitting on the table beside her laptop.

Jack smiled, "Right, I'll see you later, thanks Tosh," he touched her shoulder and then picked his way between the desks towards the door.

**. . . .**

Jack stood with Ianto and Gwen, by the SUV, he rubbed his hands together, and bounced on the balls of his feet, glancing repeatedly towards the command vehicle.

"Okay, you all know what we're doing?" he asked, knowing full well that they did. "Tosh is staying here so she can relay any movements as soon as possible," he glanced towards their ears,"We use our own comms, the army will use theirs- no sharing," he added giving them a warning look, "They get curious, our equipment is on a need to know bases, and they don't need to know- right?" he said pointedly, the other two nodded, not that they needed to be reminded.

"Owen is still working on the samples, anything that comes from that, he can relay to Tosh and she can update what she has, probably a bit late in the day, but who knows."

The Brigadier walked towards them, two young soldiers following him, he nodded towards Jack and stopped, shouting over to him,"Your team ready, Captain?"

Jack nodded, "Yep, whenever you are, sir."

Smiling his approval, the Brigadier moved towards one of the Jeeps, "Good, right gentlemen," he turned towards the soldiers scattered around, but all watching him intently, "Lets move out, shall we?" he held up his hand, and they ran for their vehicles.

Trying not to look amused at the flurry of activity he had just caused, he gave the signal to move out, all the engines fired into life, and the convoy slowly pulled off towards the main road.

Ianto drove the SUV towards the back of the crocodile line of army vehicles, as they headed out.

"Anyone know where were going?" he enquired, hitting the indicator, and pulling across the road.

Jack shrugged, "Nope, just follow the one in front, they all seem to know where they're going -even if we don't!"

Gwen fidgeted in the back seat, took out her mobile, and checked for messages, more for something to do, than because she expected any. "Well I got the impression that they've picked a spot, and I think Tosh said something about a nice big open space, and there's not many of those around here," she murmured, turning off her phone reluctantly and looking out of the window.

Jack tapped his ear piece, "Tosh? You picking me up okay?" Toshiko's voice echoed back in his earpiece.

"Great, anything new?" He asked, none too hopefully.

Toshiko shook her head, as she glanced at the screen updating, then tapped her earpiece, "Nothing, just the same readings, I don't suppose..." she suddenly stopped, checked back to the previous reading and then blinked, suddenly worried, she added, "I think they may be moving, are you in a close convoy?"

"Yeah, why?" Jack asked nervously.

"Well, they may be picking up the vibration from a lot of vehicles, travelling close together. Owen did say he thought..." Toshiko broke off what she was saying, the screen had just updated once more, she gave a sigh of relief, "It's okay, they've stopped again."

Jack gave a silent whistle and relaxed, "Don't do that to me, Tosh! I don't have a change of underwear!"

Toshiko smirked, "Sorry," she said in an amused voice.

The convoy pulled off the main road, and began to pick their way across a track that went over a field. Ianto swore under his breath, as the SUV began to lurch violently from side to side, then had to stand on his brakes quickly, as the Jeep in front of them stopped dead.

"Looks like this is it!" Jack murmured, pushing open the door and getting out. The others watched as he slammed the door shut, looking around for the Brigadier, then seeing him approach stepped back and waited.

The Brigadier marched towards Jack, smiling. They had finally got to the point where he felt like he was on safe ground, past all the technical guff and down to the basics- and that was his domain.

"Captain," he announced, then glanced back checking his troops were deploying as instructed, "All in position, any movement yet?"

Jack tapped his earpiece, "Tosh? how's it going?"

"No more movement, looks like last time was just random, nothing to do with what was going on, hang on..." Toshiko updated the display yet again, "Nope, it's as we were."

Jack sighed, "No real change from the position you had, looks like they need a little encouragement!"

The Brigadier nodded, "I have no intension risking sending my men in at close quarters," he turned and raised his arm, looking directly at one of the larger Jeeps, the man standing in the back saluted, then pulled a tarpaulin sheet from something fixed in the back.

Jack smiled, a water canon, he had seen enough of those in his time! A steady stream of brown, frothing liquid, began to fan across the no mans land, between them and the tree line. He sniffed the air, his smile turning to a grin.

The Brigadier grinned back,"Most of the men think it's a criminal waste, but if it gets the job done- it's worth every drop!"

"I take it it's on your requisition sheet and not mine?" Jack enquired.

The Brigadier smirked, "Oh yes! Can't wait to see their faces when I send this in. Oh, I will need your signed confirmation as to use," he laughed, "Not that they will bother, when they see its a joint mission with Torchwood."

A loud beeping, suddenly set off on Toshiko's laptop, she stared, pressed the key to update and checked, then called out, "Jack? They're definitely on the move, and heading your way."

Jack banged the side of the SUV. Gwen and Ianto got out quickly, then Jack followed the Brigadier towards his Jeep, "They're on the move."

The Brigadier began deploying his men, keeping them as close to the vehicles as possible, the drivers began moving their vehicles, so they were ready to evacuate- quickly if they had to. "Keep engines running," he yelled, "They come too quickly, we're getting the hell out of here, and fast."


	12. Chapter 12

Owen leaned back in his chair, still staring at the endless list of numbers on the page in front of him, rubbing the back of his neck, he glanced idly towards Jen, who was busy dropping used syringes into the sharps drum.

"If we ever escape this dump, I promise to take you away from all this, to somewhere exotic," he said, smirking.

"Oh, really? That wouldn't be the same exotic venue as last time would it?" She asked, her voice teasing him.

Owen blinked repeatedly,and folded his arms across his chest, "And what, exactly, was wrong with last time?" he simpered, attempting to sound hurt.

Jen laughed, and turned to face him, "Sitting on top of your bed, with a Chinese take away... " she winced and then shook her head.

"God! Some women are impossible to please," he laughed back at her, shaking his head, "I'll have you know that's the latest craze. Must be, there are places opening up all over the place, and they all look the same," his mouth quirked, and he laughingly added, "Perhaps someone is cloning them!"

Jen laughed back at him,"An alien cloning Chinese take aways... putting mind control drugs into the most popular numbers"

Owen glanced at the readout sheet once again, then his smile suddenly disappeared, "Oh bloody hell!" he yelled, up on his feet immediately and heading rapidly for the door.

"What's wrong?" Jen yelled after him, but she was too late.

**. . . .**

Owen arrived in the control room at a run, Toshiko looked up, surprised, then seeing his expression, her eyes widened, nervously.

"Warn Jack," Owen gasped breathlessly, "Let me talk to him-quick!"

Toshiko took her earpiece out and handed it to Owen, "Jack?" he yelled, almost deafening him at the other end.

"Owen?" he winced at the volume,"Could you try not shouting?" he yelled back.

"Yeah, sorry, look any numbers you've got... presume at least a multiple of ten," Owen announced.

"What?" Jack waved towards the brigadier urgently, "How come?" he demanded.

"We didn't take into account that multiple clones would probably show as one individual, the program would see the same and presume it was a ghost and ignore it."

Jack swore loudly just as the Brigadier arrived, "It looks like we have a bigger problem than we thought!"

Toshiko glanced at her screen, as it began to beep urgently, "Shit! Owen?" she waved her hand towards him, demanding her earpiece back.

Owen handed it back, and pushing it into her ear she said,"Jack! They've speeded up, you should be able to see them any moment now, according to this... can you see them? Jack?" she yelled urgently.

Jack looked desperately towards the tree line, where the hell were they?

The Brigadier stiffened, raised his binoculars and began scanning the edge of the open ground for movement,"Got you, you bastard, " he murmured, sending some of his men out in a pincer movement that would bring them behind the rapidly moving snails.

Gwen stared, "Oh my god!" at first she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her, it was as if she was watching some kind of mirage, the ground seemed to be moving, then she realised that what she was seeing, was a huge group of shells, swaying as they moved quickly towards the smell of the beer.

Ianto blinked, stunned at what he was seeing, he looked towards Jack, who was standing with the Brigadier, the two clearly trying to update the situation.

The Brigadier signalled his men back, "I don't care how effective that vinegar was supposed to be, there's too many of them,"he smirked at Jack, "Time for plan B," he announced, moving towards his Jeep.

"We have a plan B?"Jack looked impressed, "I didn't even know we had a plan A!"

The Brigadier barked orders towards his communications officer, who relayed the message, then looked towards the edge of the field. A muffled drone, was getting rapidly louder, as the tank bounced its way enthusiastically across the field towards them, clearly aware of the target, it manoeuvred towards the sea of snails and hurtled towards them.

The soldiers who had been pulled back, regrouped in front of them, ready to take on any that the tank missed, as it crushed it's way happily across the field.

Gwen stared as the tank turned, and made it's way back, dealing with the remaining targets. Some had stopped, and picking up the vibration, started to try and fix on where the danger was coming from, but there was little chance of them being able to do anything about it, if they had.

Jack smirked at Gwen and shook his head, "Well, it's not quite what I was expecting, but what is?"

The Brigadier marched back, a huge grin on his face "My superior will be ecstatic," he laughed, "I've finally found something useful, to use his bloody tank for," he announced, then seeing Gwen, apologised for the language.

Gwen smiled, "Don't worry about it,you should hear Owen!"

Jack suddenly winced, "Actually I can! Tosh, tell Owen to shut up, he's deafening me!"

Toshiko giggled,"Your lucky, your not sitting next to him! Owen will you shut up!" she glared at him, "I can hardly hear Jack."

Owen waved his hand at her impatiently, demanding the ear piece, "Sorry, yeah okay, just... " Taking it from her, murmured a sparse, "Thanks," then continued, " Jack? Tell them minimal damage, it's going to have to be treated as a contaminated zone, the less splat the easier it'll be afterwards. Any remnants left, could end up back in the DNA chain if any normal snail fancies a taste of his cousin."

Jack groaned and closed his eyes, "Erm... that could be ever so slightly tricky!"

"Why?" Owen asked guardedly

"Well they just got run over by a ... tank!" Jack winced and eased his earpiece partly out of his ear.

"What!" Owen yelled

Staring at Toshiko, Owen slowly removed her earpiece and handed it back,"I was worried about them being hit by a shovel," he murmured, turning away from her. "They ran over them with a tank!" he wandered towards the door, "A tank!" he repeated, shaking his head.

Jen was standing in the doorway watching, "What's wrong?" she asked.

Owen peered vaguely at her, "Well if they think I'm going to spend the next years of my life, scraping that lot up off a bloody field to test, they can soddin' well forget it... I hate grass," he announced, storming off.

Jen looked across at Toshiko, shaking her head and laughing, "What the hell was all that about?"

Toshiko smiled back, and held her hand up, then nodded, "Sorry, just getting updated," she giggled, "You aren't going to believe this!"

Jen perched on the edge of a desk and waited.

"They ran over the lot of them with a tank," Toshiko told her, laughing.

Jens hand shot to her mouth, "Oh my god, they didn't!" she laughed, then added, "Brilliant, the Brigadier finally found a use for the tank he keeps getting lumbered with!"

**. . . .**

Jack, Ianto and Gwen stood by the SUV, watching as the Brigadier directed his men to spray what was left of the snails (just to be on the safe side) and directed the start of the clean up operation.

Ianto watched cheerfully, then asked, "So, Owen is going to have to test this lot then, is he?" clearly thinking that all that work, would keep him out of his way, for a long time.

Gwen stared at him, "Don't be daft, 'course not... he won't, will he Jack?"

Jack shrugged, "Well after the tricks he played with that sat nav of his, I'm sorely tempted," he looked across at Ianto, who grinned back, "But I think maybe that would be a little harsh, under the circumstances." Ianto's smile disappeared.

Jack marched toward the Brigadier,"Nice job," he smiled, offering his hand.

The Brigadier took it and shook it enthusiastically, "My pleasure, we'll get the place cleaned up, make sure there's no chance of contamination, your team moving out now?" he enquired.

Jack nodded, "Yep, looks like it's all over bar the shouting, although my Medic may stick around," he said, smirking.

"Wouldn't be surprised," the Brigadier grinned, "I think perhaps I owe mine some leave, had to cancel the last lot at short notice."

"Oddly enough he's owed some too!" laughing, Jack nodded and turned back to the others. "Right let's go and sign out of the hotel... we're going home."

**. . . .**

Owen leaned against his car, arms folded, "So, you have a forty eight hour pass?" The corner of his lip tweaked, "And by a strange co incidence, I'm owed roughly the same... and you have a hotel room."

Ianto marched across the car park, bags in hand, dumped them of the floor behind the SUV and glared across at Owen. Toshiko and Gwen arrived carrying their bags, Jack just behind them, checking over the bill he had just paid.

Gwen sighed, "I still smell of that bloody snail as well, I don't think it will ever go away."

"Never mind," Jack said cheerfully, "Another shower when you get home, and I'm sure it will be long gone."

Gwen smiled briefly and then swore, "Oh hell! Rhys!" at that moment her phone beeped, she glanced at its screen- a message from Rhys. Nervously she opened it, then laughed.

Jack leaned towards her and murmured, "I take it your forgiven?"

Gwen nodded, relieved.

"Owen?" Jack yelled across at him

Owen grimaced, then turned towards him,"Jack?"

"I think your owed a weekend... a short one," he gave Owen a warning look,"Any longer and I will arrange for the tank fodder to arrive on your autopsy table- a piece at a time."

Owen nodded, mumbled "Thanks," and turned back to Jen and grinned. Slipping his arm around her they walked towards the hotel.

Jack turned back, in time to see Toshiko looking pointedly at a bush and Gwen staring vacantly up at the sky, he shook his head and sighed, what the hell was it with those two and Owen?

"Right, we all packed? Ianto, lets get the hell out of here!"

Ianto stopped at the junction to the main road, glanced both ways then asked, "Do we go back for the tents or not?"

A chorus of "NOT!" echoed around the SUV.

"Alright, I was just checking," he murmured, then pulled out onto the road.

**. . . .**

Underneath a pile of damp leaves something stirred, an expressionless face pushed out into the light, eyestalks waving cautiously, then suddenly it moved back under cover again.

A man's voice called, "Rex! Where the bloody hell has that damned dog got to? REX!"

A black Labrador gambolled up to the pile of leaves, sniffing, then wagged its tail excitedly and began scrabbling around, uncovering a large shell, the dog barked, and then growled as a head poked out at him.

Something shot through the air and hit him on the nose, the dog yelped and ran off, swaying slightly.

The head pulled back inside it's shell and wriggled lower, blending in with the background again.

**The End**


End file.
